- Better Sex
- Rubbing it in the face of a pretty ex that treated you like shit
- More energy
- You can fit into those "when I lose a few pounds" jeans
- If you need to do something physical, you actually can
- Girl watching is much better in the gym (unfortunately you care less when you are working out)
- You can see your shoes without bending over
Hey. I'm not making this list for you. I haven't been to the gym in just over a week and am feeling the
effects of inertia.
Friday, February 25, 2011
A good laugh at karaoke delusional 'Players' and 'has beens'
You know I enjoy a bout of karaoke a time or two (or is that 'boot'...being Canadian and all). It's a good thing for me when you have enough music behind you and can sing in tune enough that people generally enjoy it. I'll never be a rock star and I'm okay with that. Power up the music and give me a mike...I get the post song spiritual buzz from the acolades and I'm good to go. It's a temporary feeling that you are a rock star before reality hits. How easy would it be for someone to hit that 'La la land' and stay there though?
It's a bit of a trap. Quite delusional. There is more to being a music star than just singing nicely. Bob Dylan isn't a genius because he can sing like a canary...but he's still a genius none-the-less - stoned out of his tree most of the time but still a genius.
RANT
[Today's music is what I call...Attack of the Tramp Pack!!! Where young, attractive women dress in as skimpy outfits as can be legally worn on public media. You could barely notice that the music has as much musical integrity as a bored four year old humming random notes. Ofcourse musical 'spin doctors' refer to the new standard of musical excellence as 'complex'...and while you are reelling from that obscenity to truth... they further add that it takes a much more refined sense of musical understanding to appreciate this complexity. It will take as much as half an hour to dig yourself out of that pile of shit. A metal garbage can rolling down a 45 degree incline of a pile of wounded puppies has 'Musical Complexity'. I know you younger generation have hardly any time in between the computer games you constantly play but seriously; The music that you listen to doesn't have to be sung by a singer who gives you a woody. I know time is short but seriously! Go watch some fucking porn or listen and demand to listen to some fucking good music. Choose one for fuck sakes. Vote with your money. Go listen to some Boston, April Wine, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Styx, Supertramp, Collective Soul, Three Doors Down, Tragically Hip or whatever spiritually turns you on. Really feel the music in your soul not some musical shade of beige performed by some glamour slut.]
It's a bit of a trap. Quite delusional. There is more to being a music star than just singing nicely. Bob Dylan isn't a genius because he can sing like a canary...but he's still a genius none-the-less - stoned out of his tree most of the time but still a genius.
RANT
[Today's music is what I call...Attack of the Tramp Pack!!! Where young, attractive women dress in as skimpy outfits as can be legally worn on public media. You could barely notice that the music has as much musical integrity as a bored four year old humming random notes. Ofcourse musical 'spin doctors' refer to the new standard of musical excellence as 'complex'...and while you are reelling from that obscenity to truth... they further add that it takes a much more refined sense of musical understanding to appreciate this complexity. It will take as much as half an hour to dig yourself out of that pile of shit. A metal garbage can rolling down a 45 degree incline of a pile of wounded puppies has 'Musical Complexity'. I know you younger generation have hardly any time in between the computer games you constantly play but seriously; The music that you listen to doesn't have to be sung by a singer who gives you a woody. I know time is short but seriously! Go watch some fucking porn or listen and demand to listen to some fucking good music. Choose one for fuck sakes. Vote with your money. Go listen to some Boston, April Wine, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Styx, Supertramp, Collective Soul, Three Doors Down, Tragically Hip or whatever spiritually turns you on. Really feel the music in your soul not some musical shade of beige performed by some glamour slut.]
Sunday, February 6, 2011
New Music
Remember when music just made you get up and want to dance? When guitar solos made you want to go out and buy a guitar? Seriously...when was the last time you broke out that air guitar and jammed out some mock riffs to your favorite tunes?
New music has been committee designed to appeal to their target audience (teenagers) based on the new music being 'new' and the women in the music videos generically worthy of thinking about during a good wanking. It doesn't seem like that long ago you could hum a toon from J-Lo that would sound like it came from a bored 4 year old stringing random notes together - although I don't understand why you would. I felt that there would be no going downhill from that point in musical dark ages. Well what's worse than living in a rat infested, ground floor apartment with one window that is 5 feet from someone's exaust port on the street? Apparently the creaters of modern music have decided that they can use the area UNDER the floor of said apartment. You could throw a metal garbage can out of a 5 story window and have it land on a constipated Chihuahua and have it sound better than the crap being produced today. There is always a 'committee' when you see two normally different things being duct taped together like it would sell twice as much. I call this phenomena the Ice-cream pizza. It's what you get when you have two morons telling you there are two things people like; one being ice-cream and the other being pizza...and the second guy saying now WE'VE COMBINED THEM INTO ONE GREAT PRODUCT!!! Oh yeah...and there has to be a third guy somewhere who is rich enough to be 'in charge' and missing a chromosome enough to say "THAT'S A GREAT FUCKING IDEA!!!"
I grew up in an age where the music just takes you away to a wonderous place of pure enjoyment. I grew up in a time of Linda Carter's Wonder Woman and Catherine Bach's Daisy Duke. Listening to my best music while fantasizing about Daisy Duke? Those were 2 different places of happiness where nary the two were comfortable in the same room. Enter the 'Ice-cream Pizza' idiots. Next thing you have gorgeous women getting slutty in videos with music to throw yourself off a bridge by. This travesty of musical justice is known in the industry as "The Package"
Lets round up a list of a few of the usual suspects;
Beyonce
Probably buys her metal garbage cans in bulk and lives 5 floors above a pet store. Her videos can be between mildly sexual to outright vulgar. Oddly enough, it's the ones that are the most subtle that I find the most sexy. She seriously has it going on. Too much in the flaunting department leaves me cold though. She has heart and vision but the music makes me want to put a tin pail on my head and hit it with a hammer until the music stops.
Lets take a trip back to where it all began...
New music has been committee designed to appeal to their target audience (teenagers) based on the new music being 'new' and the women in the music videos generically worthy of thinking about during a good wanking. It doesn't seem like that long ago you could hum a toon from J-Lo that would sound like it came from a bored 4 year old stringing random notes together - although I don't understand why you would. I felt that there would be no going downhill from that point in musical dark ages. Well what's worse than living in a rat infested, ground floor apartment with one window that is 5 feet from someone's exaust port on the street? Apparently the creaters of modern music have decided that they can use the area UNDER the floor of said apartment. You could throw a metal garbage can out of a 5 story window and have it land on a constipated Chihuahua and have it sound better than the crap being produced today. There is always a 'committee' when you see two normally different things being duct taped together like it would sell twice as much. I call this phenomena the Ice-cream pizza. It's what you get when you have two morons telling you there are two things people like; one being ice-cream and the other being pizza...and the second guy saying now WE'VE COMBINED THEM INTO ONE GREAT PRODUCT!!! Oh yeah...and there has to be a third guy somewhere who is rich enough to be 'in charge' and missing a chromosome enough to say "THAT'S A GREAT FUCKING IDEA!!!"
I grew up in an age where the music just takes you away to a wonderous place of pure enjoyment. I grew up in a time of Linda Carter's Wonder Woman and Catherine Bach's Daisy Duke. Listening to my best music while fantasizing about Daisy Duke? Those were 2 different places of happiness where nary the two were comfortable in the same room. Enter the 'Ice-cream Pizza' idiots. Next thing you have gorgeous women getting slutty in videos with music to throw yourself off a bridge by. This travesty of musical justice is known in the industry as "The Package"
Lets round up a list of a few of the usual suspects;
Probably buys her metal garbage cans in bulk and lives 5 floors above a pet store. Her videos can be between mildly sexual to outright vulgar. Oddly enough, it's the ones that are the most subtle that I find the most sexy. She seriously has it going on. Too much in the flaunting department leaves me cold though. She has heart and vision but the music makes me want to put a tin pail on my head and hit it with a hammer until the music stops.
Taylor Swift
Not exactly using her sexuality to get ratings. The audience is different in that country music appeals to the more conservative elements of the market. Still there is no arguing with 'The package'. This woman is gorgeous. I can't say I mind her music either. It doesn't get in my blood and get me dancing or playing guitar solos but I guess I wouldn't mind it travelling between main and the third floor.
Brittany Spears
Brit was the original 'Package Deal'. What happens to 'the package' when she grows up and has kids? Effectively she has to actually work for a pay cheque or put on extra layers of pantyhose, peroxide and makeup. "Hi Brittany...this is reality calling. You've been making money from 'music' for 10 years...it's time to actually make music rather than wank videos that teenage boys can mindlessly hum to".Lets take a trip back to where it all began...
52 year old Madonna. Seriously? I've seen fat, hairy, middle age crossdressing men that look better than this. All you 'Package Deal' women take a good hard look. I'm the ghost of Christmas future and THIS could be YOU unless you change your ways.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
World of Warcraft - Just say 'No'
World of Warcraft is a MMORPG or Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. People pay a fee to play online characters of multiple races and classes in a Midieval fantasy genre RPG.
There is much to discuss about this gaming addiction. Much like a nasty fatty pepperoni pizza...we'll need to tackle this point one greasy slice at a time. Personally I can only handle 3 pieces right now...
Effort and Reward
This is a big one. There are many intermingled fun bits about Wow. Game play is intermingled with long long times of absolute tedium. In Cataclysm, Wow introduced a new 'Profession'...which are things your character can do to help him or a group out and to make money. Usual professions are Alchemy, Mining, Enchanting...etc. The new profession that Cat. introduced is called 'Archaeology'. This profession allows you to uncover relics of the past; some marginally interesting. Very few of them have interesting effects. In the beginning Archaeology is fun. You continually are driven forward by what 'might be' in the next find page. Oh...Yeah...you don't just dig up a relic. You dig up multiple fragments over multiple dig-sites for some piece of crap you wouldn't even bother looting off a lowbie...to see if the next page is something special. Don't be surprised if you find the same crap 3 times in a row. Eventually...you will find something good. The fun that you felt at the beginning has been transplanted by mind-numbing boredom with the hours and hours spent wasting time travelling between dig sites and digging up the same crap. Eventually you find something and, if you are honest with yourself, you will realize you spent actual time of your life that you could have done something real with to chase after some innane trinket in a fantasy world.
Build a fucking coffee table...imagine a fantasy character and give him a cool fantasy trinket for fuck sakes. This system of boredom and reward tricks the mind and robs you of motivation. Also if you don't have enough clear rewards in your real life, it can be addictive. Blizzard understands this...they nurture it. Just walk away.
Ascension in the fantasy world = becoming a douchebag in the real one
Be warned...these links are of the uglier side of gaming addiction (Spaz Douchebag Not pretty)
This is what happens when your rewards in life are illusionary. That is not to say everyone who plays WoW is compromising their real world experience...however, what I have seen...most do. Much like the real world, the World of Warcraft isn't always fair. Many players thrive, in the game, on the ability to affect others in a negative way... because it gives them a sense of power. This can be most compelling if, in your personal life, you feel that you have a very limited amount of it. You can actually find entire groups of kids who feed on each other's desire to do this (and by 'Kids' I mean of all ages).
The more you accomplish in the game contrasting your 'real world' accomplishments, the more the game draws you in. Like any addiction, use of the substance promotes using the substance and you have to use more and more of it to feel better...while your real world experience increasingly suffers.
The lure of becoming an asocial sociopath
In the real world there are checks and balances for our behavior. Developing adults need boundaries and a well defined understanding of action and reaction in the real world. Rebellion is part of the process of growth because it teaches us that, in all things that we do, responsibility ultimately comes back to us.
We have children that are literally grown into the addiction of gaming. 'It's a good babysitter' we tell ourselves. Well look at what they do in some of these games. Massive violence. Absolute power. The games are mostly about killing...specifically 'the kids' killing something...and mostly someone else. Now if your kids were to spend 5 hours a day imagining killing people in various graphic ways...it would be really time to call the doctor. Well that is the fantasy world but so are the games. I'm not saying that the kids won't know the difference between the graphic violence in their fantasy world and the real one. What I'm saying is that the desensitization towards violence can carry over into the real world in the form of the complete lack of natural human empathy. That can have a drastic effect but in much more subtle ways such as relationships. We're making a generation of geeks.
Enter the game. etcetera...etcetera
There is much to discuss about this gaming addiction. Much like a nasty fatty pepperoni pizza...we'll need to tackle this point one greasy slice at a time. Personally I can only handle 3 pieces right now...
Effort and Reward
This is a big one. There are many intermingled fun bits about Wow. Game play is intermingled with long long times of absolute tedium. In Cataclysm, Wow introduced a new 'Profession'...which are things your character can do to help him or a group out and to make money. Usual professions are Alchemy, Mining, Enchanting...etc. The new profession that Cat. introduced is called 'Archaeology'. This profession allows you to uncover relics of the past; some marginally interesting. Very few of them have interesting effects. In the beginning Archaeology is fun. You continually are driven forward by what 'might be' in the next find page. Oh...Yeah...you don't just dig up a relic. You dig up multiple fragments over multiple dig-sites for some piece of crap you wouldn't even bother looting off a lowbie...to see if the next page is something special. Don't be surprised if you find the same crap 3 times in a row. Eventually...you will find something good. The fun that you felt at the beginning has been transplanted by mind-numbing boredom with the hours and hours spent wasting time travelling between dig sites and digging up the same crap. Eventually you find something and, if you are honest with yourself, you will realize you spent actual time of your life that you could have done something real with to chase after some innane trinket in a fantasy world.
Build a fucking coffee table...imagine a fantasy character and give him a cool fantasy trinket for fuck sakes. This system of boredom and reward tricks the mind and robs you of motivation. Also if you don't have enough clear rewards in your real life, it can be addictive. Blizzard understands this...they nurture it. Just walk away.
Ascension in the fantasy world = becoming a douchebag in the real one
Be warned...these links are of the uglier side of gaming addiction (Spaz Douchebag Not pretty)
This is what happens when your rewards in life are illusionary. That is not to say everyone who plays WoW is compromising their real world experience...however, what I have seen...most do. Much like the real world, the World of Warcraft isn't always fair. Many players thrive, in the game, on the ability to affect others in a negative way... because it gives them a sense of power. This can be most compelling if, in your personal life, you feel that you have a very limited amount of it. You can actually find entire groups of kids who feed on each other's desire to do this (and by 'Kids' I mean of all ages).
The more you accomplish in the game contrasting your 'real world' accomplishments, the more the game draws you in. Like any addiction, use of the substance promotes using the substance and you have to use more and more of it to feel better...while your real world experience increasingly suffers.
The lure of becoming an asocial sociopath
In the real world there are checks and balances for our behavior. Developing adults need boundaries and a well defined understanding of action and reaction in the real world. Rebellion is part of the process of growth because it teaches us that, in all things that we do, responsibility ultimately comes back to us.
We have children that are literally grown into the addiction of gaming. 'It's a good babysitter' we tell ourselves. Well look at what they do in some of these games. Massive violence. Absolute power. The games are mostly about killing...specifically 'the kids' killing something...and mostly someone else. Now if your kids were to spend 5 hours a day imagining killing people in various graphic ways...it would be really time to call the doctor. Well that is the fantasy world but so are the games. I'm not saying that the kids won't know the difference between the graphic violence in their fantasy world and the real one. What I'm saying is that the desensitization towards violence can carry over into the real world in the form of the complete lack of natural human empathy. That can have a drastic effect but in much more subtle ways such as relationships. We're making a generation of geeks.
Enter the game. etcetera...etcetera
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
The Armed Forces: "Why do the brave have to die with the stupid?"
Rant:
You might ask yourself where do assholes and shitheads go after highschool? Where can a man still be a boy right into his senior years? Where is an organization that the lowliest recruit is still of greater importance than 'everyone else'? This place where every idiot yells at every other idiot and the best you can hope for is to be the top idiot - so that no one yells at you. Where the brave and deluded are mixed with the naturally delusional.
Where else? The Armed Forces!!!
Lets think of new Motos for the Armed Forces:
- "Be all you can be - which is still someone else's tool"
- "Don't grow up...we've got the biggest and most expensive toys!!! You can be a boy 'til you die!!!"
- "Killing is a sin...unless you are killing to further some politician's ambitions"
- "Tired of working at McDonalds and too stupid for post secondary? You're the Perfect fit!!!"
- "Tired of being a thug or a bully? Is it getting you into trouble? Come join us and get paid for it!!!
You might ask yourself where do assholes and shitheads go after highschool? Where can a man still be a boy right into his senior years? Where is an organization that the lowliest recruit is still of greater importance than 'everyone else'? This place where every idiot yells at every other idiot and the best you can hope for is to be the top idiot - so that no one yells at you. Where the brave and deluded are mixed with the naturally delusional.
Where else? The Armed Forces!!!
Lets think of new Motos for the Armed Forces:
- "Be all you can be - which is still someone else's tool"
- "Don't grow up...we've got the biggest and most expensive toys!!! You can be a boy 'til you die!!!"
- "Killing is a sin...unless you are killing to further some politician's ambitions"
- "Tired of working at McDonalds and too stupid for post secondary? You're the Perfect fit!!!"
- "Tired of being a thug or a bully? Is it getting you into trouble? Come join us and get paid for it!!!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (post Episode 15)
Hell's Kitchen Season 8 has come to a close. Like all Hell's Kitchen episodes, I was highly entertained.
It comes down to the usual format for the final show which is; a cooking challenge with the winner being able to pick first the members of their upcoming teams. The members consist of people who were previously eliminated from Hell's Kitchen. The final chefs run each of their respective teams in a cook off against the other. The footage of the competition and many other factors are reviewed by Ramsay for the final decision as to who wins Hell's Kitchen.
Where to start? Two words: Anger Management. You are a good chef and a good leader. The problem is much more integral than that. Russ lost. Of course he blamed his team and said he would 'Whack the bitches'.
That last sentence is, in a nutshell, everything wrong with Russ. Growth cannot happen unless you process the feedback in a positive manner. Deflecting all comments except those that say 'you are the best' will get you nowhere. 2nd place? I think I could hear the sigh of relief from the employees of LA Market from here. You've got the skills, Russ...just lose the dog collar.
How long do you think you can be anger's bitch?
Someone is going to use that to control you...and your arrogance is going to make you blind to it.
It comes down to the usual format for the final show which is; a cooking challenge with the winner being able to pick first the members of their upcoming teams. The members consist of people who were previously eliminated from Hell's Kitchen. The final chefs run each of their respective teams in a cook off against the other. The footage of the competition and many other factors are reviewed by Ramsay for the final decision as to who wins Hell's Kitchen.
I have to say Gordon...I had my doubts. For a second I thought you were going to give it to Russ. I'm sure the people in LA Market are relieved as well. I was criticizing Nona for her early shortcomings but wasn't seeing that she was developing with each passing service. You saw the potential in her.
That last sentence is, in a nutshell, everything wrong with Russ. Growth cannot happen unless you process the feedback in a positive manner. Deflecting all comments except those that say 'you are the best' will get you nowhere. 2nd place? I think I could hear the sigh of relief from the employees of LA Market from here. You've got the skills, Russ...just lose the dog collar.
How long do you think you can be anger's bitch?
Someone is going to use that to control you...and your arrogance is going to make you blind to it.
Nona. Respect is where respect is due. I had my doubts. I saw good leadership and commitment today when you were taking charge of the menu and the kitchen. I could tell that Trev really wanted to help you win. When Boris was messing up on fish, Trev stepped in and tried to take over. His motivation was that he really wanted you to win...or more accurately...make sure Russell lost. You turned around to stop them from squabbling but you didn't previously take charge of either Trev or Boris directly. To be honest, if Russell hadn't shown his true colors today...everything else he was doing slightly better than you. So you get a quarter million dollars a year not because you were marginally more effective in the kitchen...but because you weren't a psycho. So Congrats.
All in all the most unbelievable season of Hell's Kitchen ever.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (Episode 14)
Well proof positive after this episode. Ramsay has no integral control of the course of the show. If he did, I dare say, he would probably have sent them all packing. So it comes down to a 29 year old arrogant psychopath who CAN cook (at least) Versus a fat drama queen with the Palate of a Boa constrictor.
It's really funny because in the challenge she couldn't taste the difference between Mashed Potatoes, which was supposed to be up, and mashed celery. At the very end she was described as having 'an exceptional palate' and they even had a scene showing her tasting the mashed celery. Someone must have slipped in some sarcasm past the crack production staff. I'm looking at you, Flash.
They say that losers never win and winners never lose. What about a rat race? Russ has proven himself to be a capable cook with an unshakeable confidence. Sure he doesn't win all the time or even most of the time... but those are instances where 'the judges are dummies with unrefined palates'. This guy scares me. Not because he is big or has no soul...though those are good points. He is the face of a brand new and completely selfish generation of 20 somethings. For this guy to succeed means that his precision bullying and thuggery is an accepted means of getting what you want. Something no one ever gets is the fact that media carves out its own templates for behavior among the developing new generation. Social responsibility? Somehow I don't think that goes with 'FOX'...and I'm sleeping with the lights on tonight.
He's in the last 2. His opponent cannot win on her cooking or leadership skill against this guy. I know they are standing at the reward ceremony doors with their family on the other side. There will be a winner. Among the casualities will be Gordon Ramsay's integrity. The best that I can hope for is a followup screen saying "Russ was fired 3 days later for yelling at customers in LA Market"...somehow I think they will omitt that part.
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