Stephen Harper's farewell speech ... what he doesn't say

 

 

"We believe that hard working Canadians should keep more of their money"
 
...and the more people you have DOING that work for you, the more of THAT money you should keep!

"Because we believe that the government should manage the people's money the way that they would manage their own"

...with reckless spending,  inaccurate records,  frivolous pursuits and forgotten promises

"Because friends, in a dangerous world, Canada must - without apology - advance our values, defend
our interests and stand by our friends"
 
We have to continue bribing the US so that they will like us.  Several more billion dollars should do the trick.

"We have Championed those values all of our public lives" 
 
We use buzz words like 'Championed' because most of our supporters are senile and can't remember
specifically how we fucked over the country.

"In the past 9 years I've had the incredible honor to serve as your Prime Minister"
 
...but not so much honorable as it was hilarious.  Here I stand giving you the full fist with this
bullshit speech that you are all eating up and most of you haven't even paid attention to the news.  The Auto dialers... the Gerrymandering...Mike Duffy...the poison pills...stacking the house and the cabinet...and that's just the tip.

 

"We put everything on the table.  We gave everything we had to give and we don't regret anything"
 We lied.  We cheated.  We Stole.  We Prioritized US corporations over the health of the people and the environment.  It was hard to put what we did on the table but we perched up there and squatted and squeezed as best we could...Now Justin has to clean up that mess.  We're BUSH'D.

"Friends...how could we?  We remain citizens of the best country on earth"
 
Thanks for your support you senile bastards.  We fucked over the country and the democratic process but at least we're not behind bars.