Do you ever get that 'Alone in a crowded room' feeling?

 

 

Being alone is less lonely than to be in a room full of people who don't talk to you.  Why don't they talk to you?  One of many reasons: 

   1. They are not your tribe (I coined this phrase too - originally - when I was doing acting and thought those people were my tribe).  When people don't get you...they don't even begin to know what to say to you.  Your 'Tribe' is the one that 'Gets' you.   Save yourself the hassle of trying to fit into where you absolutely do not.  You will either compromise who you are or feel inferior to those around you - either way - it is not acceptable.

   2. Congratulations...you have politicians.  My sister was born in the year of the rat and I couldn't think of a better sign for her...well...maybe a sign AT her.  If she had an 'Audience' she could say any one of her random theories based on solid conjecture... or the logic: if x=1 then w+x+y+z = 1 where w+y+z have values but they are not known.  Think about it...we all do it to some degree.  The probability of doing it is actually inversely proportionate to your insecurity (because fear makes you judge quickly).  Previously I've talked about how having insecurity makes the need for control more pressing.  Social politics is all about power.  If these people can't find the buttons...it freaks them the fuck out and you stay on the outside.  In other words; this is not your shit...it is theirs.  Believe me.

   3. General fear.  In decades earlier, people would talk to each other on the bus or where ever they found each other with random abandon.  Having a conversation with a stranger was normal.  Now the idea that anyone could be a freak or weirdo has people not making eye contact and dropping the conversation ball from strangers like it was hot.  I feel it too.  The last time someone came up to me with a friendly disposition and tried to engage me in conversation, they told me that their family had been stranded and he was trying to raise enough money to get them back to Langely.  Oh...where is your family?  Oh...invisible in an empty parking lot...I see them now.  In other words, he was a drug addict.  Then I'm walking down the street and a woman looks at me like I'm going to attack her.  Well...then again...I do live across the street from the Elizabeth Fry Society.

So, in conclusion, there are many reasons that you feel alone in a crowded room.  With fear comes insecurity and politics.  When people don't know who you are, they don't feel comfortable around you.  Be also compassionate.  It is the time where people are worried about their own future and their own issues.  People are hurting.  When people are hurt they get egocentric.  It's just the nature of the beast. 

Be well people

New Sayings

This too is as inconsequential as a grain of salt on the ocean

RIP Amanda Todd

You know why bullies exist?  Because our mating rituals are flawed.  You marry a meat-head because he can 'hold his own' in a fight?  Sort of like marrying a steel lamp post because 'he could really take a punch'.  You don't get the 'Sensitive' with the 'Insensitive'.  There is a view that the bully is a stronger person...because they are more willing to fight?  I've met enough people to know that the excuse they are more willing to fight for can be as varied as the individual but with one common denominator: Insecurity. 

Some of the most insecure people are more willing to fight.  These include people who have lived on the street.  Some have been in the prison system.  Some have grown up in rough neighborhoods possibly in foster homes.  The rage to get into a fight is actually a secondary response...the first is fear.  The fear comes from the idea that they are losing control.  This is not to be trifled with.  You might beat them in a fight but they will come back at you with a gun or a knife.  There is nothing more dangerous than a cornered animal.  In situations where you absolutely have no trust in the people and situations around you, power is the only thing you can strive for.  They find a partner and the first thing they HAVE to know about them is 'Which buttons to press'.  The problem is that if you behave like this, those who are closest to you will 'Learn' from your example and not trust you, or anyone else.   Hence the bully is born. 

Sometimes the lack of trust goes so deep but the 'Feral reaction' has not taken hold.  This is the worst for the fear of fighting.  You do not trust other people enough that you will not be seriously hurt.  The fear that if they get the upper hand, they will keep hitting until you are maimed or dead.  But that is a topic for another time.

A bully sees a sensitive person like Amanda Todd.  They go:

 "Hey! Why the fuck can she be sensitive!  Lets go take control away from her (like I've had done to me) and see how she handles it.  Maybe she knows something I don't.  (...and that way I don't have to be such an insecure douchebag all the time)" -Part Jealousy...part curiousity.  Believe it or not.

When it comes to bullies...a little punch goes a long ways.  Just show them that you are willing to fight and that you can take a punch and give it back.  If it looks like you are against a group; look for the one calling the shots and challenge them directly by saying 'What...you too chicken shit to take me on alone?'  That will give you, at least, a decent chance.  So maybe fighting isn't your thing.  Do it mafia style.  Give the toughest kid in school $100 to kick the crap out of this person for you.  If people say you were a wimp for not taking care of it yourself...just say that you are playing to your strengths and covering the other bases. They walk away scratching their heads since their 'Super-ego dialogue' does not have any contingency for variation.  If they say they will do the same to you... just say 'I didn't start this but I will finish it if I have to'.  You might have to take a few punches and lay down a few more C-notes but they will get the message.
 
My question about this whole 'Amanda Todd' fiasco is 'where were the parents?'  I'm sorry...your daughter is having an actual meltdown.  She needs for YOU to tell her:  That she is important.   That bullies are idiots.  That you love her.  and Give her a hug.

This beautiful, sensitive person didn't have to die.   If I had known her plight, I would have tried to help.  But I'm sure a lot of us are feeling that way. 

...and to the pedophile that tried to get 'a private sex show' that started the distribution of her pictures: You need to set this right.  Donate all your stuff to the parents of this child - with a letter of apology - then end it.