Survivor - Brawns Brains Beauty (episode 1 - 2 hr)

Three words:  WHAT THE HELL!? 

To preface;  all 3 teams are divided up by having members who's personal attribute may be highest in the specific category;  Beauty, Brains or Brawn.  What we actually saw was that Beauty or Brawn does not preclude that their members don't have enough brains to get them by and that the 'Brains' team has an extra component of neurosis and over-confidence in poorly thought out decisions.

The first thing that happened was for each team to choose a leader.  LJ was chosen from the Beauty tribe because he resonated as a confident, intelligent individual.

Sarah was chosen as leader of the Brawn team for literally the same reason.  She resonated confidence and intelligence.

The Brains team voted in David because - uh - Well...because he was wearing a blazer (forehead slap) 

The first duty of each 'Team Leader' was to eliminate 1 member of their team.  It was said that this person would leave the game. 

LJ selected Morgan (a hot NFL Cheerleader).  He figured that her being so "Hot" would create drama and unwanted alliances around camp and that she might not contribute as much as someone who wasn't as good looking.

Sarah chose Trish to leave.  Ironically, Trish was Sarah's most vocal supporter to be the leader.  Sarah felt that Trish was older and skinnier and may not have the physical power compared to the other tribe members.

Okay...so who did David choose?  Well, it seemed that David was thinking 'Strategically'.  He decided that once you get 3/4 of the way into the game, the person to look out for would be both the strongest and the smartest...and that would be 'Garrett'.  David seemed to have missed the fact that he wasn't actually 3/4 of the way into the game in the first 10 minutes of episode 1!  If you get rid of your strongest people up front, your team loses consistently and you will be lucky to be around even 1/2 of the way into the game.  He wasn't aware of the fact that, being just over 5 feet tall, David, himself might have been made 'Uncomfortable' by Garrett who was well over 6 feet...which may have been the subliminal reason for his poor decision.  (Little men are complex like that)

So; the plot twist:  The selected members are, in fact, not going to be eliminated from the competition, but rather, sent ahead to the selected base.  Further, unbeknownst to the rest of the team, they are given a choice;  They can get a clue to the immunity idol or have another bag of rice for the team.  Morgan and Garrett chose the idol clue while Trish opted for the extra bag of rice.  Garrett found the idol but Morgan couldn't before their respective teams pulled up to the camp.  They mentioned something about a 'Clue to certain things'.   Garrett said something about a water source.  Morgan; about camp supplies.  It was a nice cover.  Trish didn't need to lie. 

Most of the teams are working smoothly to construct their shelter.  Here is J'Tia.  Model turned nuclear engineer from Chicago.  While the other teams had built their shelters as a team effort, J'Tia (of the "Brains" team) felt that the political model for this enterprise had to be more of a hierarchical structure.  Since she was the "Nuclear Engineer", she had more "Brains" than anyone else on the team.  Presenting her 2 dimensional line graph where a construction worker would be on the bottom and she was on the top...she figured that she was better able to "construct" something...or at least "Instruct" those who were "Lesser" than she on how to do it.  With a pattern of linear thinking that is all too predominate with those who have far too much confidence in their own limited definition of intelligence,  the rest of the team said "Yeah...that makes sense".    J'Tia proceeded to boss her way to unpopularity as people started to realize that she wasn't the right choice for foreman. 

Hmmm...nice brains.  Oh...I didn't mention that she was a Playboy model, did I?

 

Not surprisingly, "Brains" lost the challenge.  The Survivor Darwin award goes to David for thinking 12 episodes ahead while ignoring the first 20 minutes in front of his nose.  No surprise...and not much in the way of drama.  But wait!  There's more!

 

For the next challenge, there is a structure in the water.  The entire team needs to swim out to this structure and climb over the top to the inside...swim down and untie barrels containing puzzle pieces.  There is a bottom hatch to haul the barrels out and onto the beach where a puzzle needs to be solved.  J'Tia was sluggish in the water for the Brains team.  They couldn't climb over the top until she got to the structure.  Then the Brains team was making up ground...and they were first onto the beach with a herculean effort.  The puzzle pieces were taken out and it was up to the "Most intelligent" member of the team to assemble the puzzle.  Yeah...here we go again.  Once again, linear thinking prevails with the academics and who could be "More Intelligent" than a Nuclear Engineer.  Well...apparently everyone since both other teams,  one of which was severely trailing, were able to complete their puzzles while J'Tia had managed to fit only 2 pieces. 

 

At camp, everyone on the Brains team was entirely disappointed.  It was clear that they had lost the challenge...and it was clear why. 

 

The Brainiac 

 

Garrett, unfortunately, decided to have an "Open Forum" about the subject.  He stated that the reason that they lost the challenge was clear and they should all vote out the weakest link.  Unfortunately, this is Survivor, not group therapy.  Honesty will only get you used...or, with more than one person, get people pissed off at you. 

 

Latasha Fox objected.  She doesn't want an "Open forum".  She wants to play the game.  Latasha's game is to convince this idiot:

 

   (Kassandra)

 

...that it's all about the 'Boys forming an alliance versus the girls'.  Once again showing how this team of "Brainiacs" can see a fly at a mile but miss the elephant sitting on their dinner.  At this point in the game, all you should be concerned about is having a strong team.  Garrett comes over to where these two are having a meeting...with his pal in tow...leaving J'Tia (Is that French for I, Bitch!?) alone at the camp.  J'Tia throws the teams rice on the fire because she is "Justifiably pissed off" for Garrett's callousness.  Kassandra, who mentioned that she was about to support the women to eliminate the men in the tribe, points out the irony that J'Tia's action has closed the door on her aligning herself with her.  Apparently all doors with Kassandra tend to open and close very randomly and frequently as she changed her opinion, YET AGAIN, at tribal council.  J'Tia and Latasha have an iron clad alliance between them (huh?  I wonder why?  Uh...no I don't).

 

  Kassandra feels powerful because she has the 'Swing vote'.  The only power she actually has is to determine who 4 and 5 are going to be.  A stronger team means the ability to turn this thing around and win some challenges.  At tribal council...Jeff's questions, usually designed to stir the pot, barely leave his mouth before the team cascades into an orgy of neurosis.  Jeff refers to them as both enlightening and crazy.  All lessons of how not to stick your foot in your mouth seem to be lost on Garrett.  He opens his mouth and blatantly blurts out that Kassandra is in an alliance with him and...

 

...Spencer Bledsoe.

 

Kassandra turns around and says "Fuck you...there is no alliance with me" (or something like that).  "How dare you assume, and that is going to cost you".   At the cost of the strength of the team for the perception that she will save herself in the short term *"When" her team loses again (Okay she's a negative idiot as well)  She went with the alliance of women. 

 

But, Like an Oreo, the soft creamy centre will be consumed first.  I hope you enjoyed flexing your muscle of arbitrariness, Kassandra because, if you don't side with Spencer to have a chance of getting rid of J'Tia...you're out after him.  Way to join the brains team and make decisions with your emotions (...and this person is a lawyer!?).   See this is why I have no faith in the justice system.

 

Garrett gets voted out leaving the immunity idol back at camp.   He is bemused...and slightly amused as well I think.  He honestly had too much trust in his team to make a proper decision.  There shouldn't be alliances at this stage.  The only thing anyone should be thinking about at this point is "What is best for the team so that it can better compete against the other teams".  This clear thought was not so clear with his team. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Borderlands 2 Ultimate Vault Hunter Mode Review

Okay.  You can play UVHM if you beat Borderlands 2 on True vault hunter mode...but you cannot raise your experience without a 'Season pass'.  That will be $17 Canadian, please.  $15 US.  I'd like to under cut Gearbox.  If you give me $10...I will come to your residence and kick you in the nuts.  In effect producing the same relative experience...and saving you both time and money. 

The game starts off with bullymongs attacking.  They are no longer push-overs.  They are ridiculously brutal.  All those firearms that you used to be proud of back in TVHM...with numbers you agonized over?  They are all relative shit now.  Everything is relative shit.   The code monkeys went into the allocation of variables...and cranked them all up times 4.  Yeah...real technical stuff (Oh...that's cynicism).  You do get caught up in the challenge of the game.  Which is what caught me for several days.  You can no longer play the way you used to.  Having a slag weapon is a 'Must have' now rather than a 'I can't be bothered'.  There is no 'Rampage'.  You are everyone's bitch in a direct fight.  Use of cover and guerrilla fighting to keep you alive and capable of winning is a must.  Because of the degree at which the game was made harder, it forces people to group up...and form units who's members abilities must work well with the next.  For those who aren't into that degree of cooperative play...you can get a good deal into the game before all your dying and the 'Boss stat trash mobs' take their toll on your sense of logic even in denial.  I once said that this was the worst kind of 'Hard mode'.  You don't improve the AI...you just raise the hit points.  For 3 fucking years, Gearbox has been milking the shit out of Borderlands 2.  They've mostly earned their money with each expansion.  It looks like they are just getting lazy now. 

It's kind of cool that you can completely change the play of the game by manipulating a few variables...which is relatively quite simple.  I enjoyed the challenge of the game.  It was a nice feeling that, after a level had kicked you ass, that you finally came back and beat it.  It demands more from the player.  It is all it has.  When I finally awoke from my stupor of denial,  I realized that, apart from
being challenged, it wasn't the game I wanted to play. 

Review: Far Cry 2 **Spoilers**

I make a lot of references to 'Far Cry 3' in this review.  To keep this easily readable, FC3 will be in bold (as in bolder and better). 

Though I would consider FC3 to be one of my favorite games.  FC 1 and 2 occupy a different category. 

FC 2 manages to extract every joy from all aspects to the game.  You literally do something because 'someone tells you to'...there is no reason for you to do anything except for money and medication.  You get what is called 'History' with your 'Buddies' (who are, in actual fact, just a bunch of greedy jerks who end up stabbing you in the back) if you want to take 3 times longer doing your regular missions...and do the numerous 'Buddy' missions as well.  There are 5 bus depots in each act of the map (one in each corner and one in the center).  The buses can fast travel between each depot.  The map is GIGANTIC...and everyone that you see outside the 'no fire' zone IS an enemy (you might be working for their boss but you are 'under cover').  The hardest setting makes driving feel like you are traveling around in a big neon lit up bullseye with gas filled jerry cans for armour.  All your buddies want you to do something for them.  In exchange, the designated rescue buddy will save you if you go down.  You walk around the whole game feeling like some ground pounding chump that everyone else uses to do their shit.  There's a bigger story in that there are 2 factions that want to run the country...and the antics that each goes through to sabotage the other.  The guy who armed both sides was the original target you were sent into the country to assassinate. 

At the end of the game...when you are feeling like everything you did was a pointless waste of time ...you end up killing even people you liked because they were going to turn on you ... or had already done so.  You are ambushed by all those 'Buddies' that you did so much for.  The 'original target' guy comes up to you and says that both you and him suck ... and that you both should kill each other after you do one final good thing.  The odd part is that the writing in the dialogue is actually quite good.  Delivered quick and devoid of emotion...like an auctioneer accountant at 3 am, however. 

There was supposed to be a mechanic for notoriety.  This wasn't actually activated that the time of FC2's release...and they never bothered to patch it in.  So doing the buddy missions unlocks upgrades to safe houses.  Between acts, this resets anyways...so there is actually no reason to do anything for a buddy in Act 1.  But this is the game...so you want to play the game?  Then do the buddy missions.  The Story for FC3 compels you onward.  You are inherent to the plot...and have a reason for doing what you do.  In FC2...the plot is external to you.  You are simply a hammer in the communal toolbox.  You are a good hammer...but still just a tool.  The story reminds you of that every chance it gets.  It's like having your grandmother watch you play an FPS just to guilt trip you every time you kill something.  So 'History' and 'Reputation' are useless.  The story makes you want to stop playing.  Weapon upgrades are about the only reason to keep going.  Well how about driving in some rolling hills?  You see a dune buggy...you see rolling hills.  You get into the dune buggy...and hit a rock 20 yards in front of you that the long grass happened to have hid...time and again.  Hell...you even go through the whole game in various stages of sickness from Malaria!  The only thing good about FC2 was it's sequel.  If you pay attention to the NPCs...one of the voices that seem to be more emotionally involved in what they are saying stands out from the rest.  That would be the voice of Julian Casey (He plays 'Buck' in FC3). 

There isn't anything physically wrong with the game mechanics in FC2.  I do enjoy a good story ... and your role in this story is to be another cockroach in an infestation.  You just happen to be a tougher cockroach than all the others.  It's nice to think that your actions will have an instrumental effect on the outcome.  In this game?  You're just the story's bitch.  It doesn't matter WHAT you do.  The effect of all things you do is NOTHING good.  This might be a good revelation if say the story had led you along for most of the game...but you figure this out VERY early in the game.  You're essentially what Jason Brody kills en-masse in the second half of FC3...just another chump doing someone's dirty work for money.  It makes me feel like playing...something else.  You do one extremely unselfish thing to save a lot of people at the very end...and then you are expected to kill yourself for being 'Diseased' (sociopathically selfish).   Yes ... I believe the irony HAD escaped the writer in question.  

   

XD

Doom 3 - BFG Edition

I played ID Game's Rage some time ago and got to finding some Easter eggs that related back to Doom and Wolfenstein.  It had me reminiscing fondly about those old games.  Lately, ID Games came out with the Doom 3 BFG edition...which includes old doom.  For $5.50, it was worth it to download from Steam. 

As well as having both Doom 3 and it's expansion RoE (which I owned but were not loaded on my current machine), BFG includes a 2nd expansion.  Also included were all of Doom and Doom 2 (and an expansion for it as well).

I remembered in Doom 2 there was a secret level that was a tribute to Castle Wolfenstein.   It was 15 levels into the basic game.  Getting there, I find that The walls are blank.   No Nazi symbols.  No Nazi soldiers.  Hell...even the dogs were just fucking pinkies.  I don't recall all that much from the original Wolfenstein...but one of the thing that I remembered specifically is that the dogs were NOT wearing Nazi uniforms!  I fought 15 levels into an archaic game to see Castle Wolfenstein and all I got to see were blank walls and bullshit.  Not cool, ID.  What's next?  Hogan's Heroes?  We going to revise all the old 'Call of Duty' making the Nazis all neutral-uniform-of-non-specific-origin in a war of 40's esque theme. - Rant for another time.

So what next?  Well, Playing RoE, there is a place in that game where you have to go through a sewer area.  The place is full of poisonous gas so you have to use a oxygen to get by.   So, on top of having to fight enemies, you have to worry about oxygen.  It's hard...but it's fun.  Well the 'executive' decision was to remove the need to worry about oxygen.  Why!?  Also there was a mini game that was 'Sarges duck hunt' that was removed.  Now all mini games are 'Turkey puncher'.   Why!?  Someone spent money to make changes to a mediocre (at best) game to make it more bland.   BFG!?  Try BFD.  

Simply put, ID games were the creator of the 'first person shooter' with their release of 'Wolfenstein 3D'.  A couple of years later, they came out with 'Doom' which was revolutionary for it's time.  Heretic and Hexen came out soon after and were were fps of the Midieval fantasy genre.  Doom 2 came out very soon after Doom and had only new weapons, monsters and levels.  They used the same engine that was in the first Doom.  There was no mechanic for looking up or down...jumping, crouching.  If something was higher or lower than you, the 'Auto-aim' would adjust your shots accordingly.  Compared to the games of today, it would be considered laughably archaic yet us old time gamers still have a fondness in our heart (and space in our hard drive) for old Doom.  Yet this game is 20 years old!  Leave it alone!  It does not need modifying; it would be like Ford going back to redesign the Model-T after all these years.   A Model-T doesn't go fast.  It's poor with braking and acceleration.  It's terrible on gas.  It's hard to drive.  The only reason to buy a Model-T is because it IS a Model-T...and the idiots at ID Games are taking even THAT away.   So what is going on, ID Games?  Mathew Costello get a promotion from writing and is now making bad decisions in everything?

I picked up Doom BFG for $5.50.  Not a bad deal for old time gamers looking to complete our collection with some retro stuff.  Anyone who does not remember the old Doom may find it to be dry, linear and lacking in story and variation.  Compared to today's games, the AI is predictable which meant also the guns had to be nerfy... and the enemy doesn't seem to be really bothered all that much from getting shot...until they die of terminal lead poisoning.  The SMG in Doom 3 feels like the name 'Airsoft' should be engraved on the side.  Though it seems with light and sounds...they managed to make Doom 3 even more scary than I remembered it.  

Rob Ford - The talk that people talk

Well Rob is in it again.  This time there is no proof...only people coming forward to confess what they saw.  This time, allegedly, "Rob offered to give oral sex to a female aid".  Well she could have said it just to besmirch his name...maybe she misheard.  The thing is; sure Rob is not that popular right now...but he is Mayor of Toronto...and he is powerful.  In his world, power is king.  The truth is a tool to that end.  There is no higher ideal than power.  In some ways, he is no different than 9/10ths of all ancient Roman Emperors.  But then again, most ancient Roman Emperors were total creeps.  The point is: why go public with something like that against someone who probably has a highly proficient slime ball lawyer on speed dial...IF IT WASN'T TRUE!?   If I was going to sling mud against someone...I'd rather not pick the someone holding an AK47...unless what they did had pissed me off to the point of not caring.  I had noticed that as far as litigation goes...Rob started it.  In psychological circles, that is called a "Dramatic Defense".  Perhaps the events of the last little while have left him reactionary to detraction.  My money is on it being true...but it's only a 30/70 at best.  Not enough for reasonable doubt in the least.  When it comes down to it...it's her word versus his.  He might be a lying crack head but if you can't prove that he is lying in the instance at hand and you admitted to saying what you did, then it is 'Slander'.  The law is an ass. 

This isn't about it being true or not.  This is about Mayor Ford scaring the little folk into not coming forward with any more "allegations".  I honestly don't have any faith in the Canadian Justice system.   It's failed me damn near every time.  So can a fat, corrupt politician sue someone for 'confessing'?...no shit.  His willingness to do so is a form of manipulation.  It's a power play and...well...we've been there. 
 
Mayor Ford needs to step down and look after his own issues for a while.  He did admit to drinking and driving mocking those who challenged him on that as though it was a bullshit law.   Well it's not.  Most people know someone who has died from a drinking driver.  My own cousin was hit and killed by one.  This guy seems to have the emotional maturity of an angry teenager.  He even dresses like one:

 

I honestly don't wish him any ill will.  To be honest, if this guy is allowed to continue, he might be the greatest Mayor Toronto has ever had...I like to call that the 'Winston Churchill' theory.

...and hell...the more he says...the more I get to laugh at Torontonians about!

Rob Ford: the reason why we should vote for leaders instead of politicians

In Charge of Canada's largest city is the biggest stupid asshole politician this side of Silvio Berlusconi. 

 

There is a video of him smoking crack.  There is a video of him in "one of his drunken stupors" all out raging.  Threatening to tear out 'someone's' eyes and throat...in what appears to be a big boy temper tantrum.  The 'Someone' in question apparently called Rob a "Liar and a thief".  Well we all know that he's half right (at least).  Rob pulled a Clinton and said that he "Doesn't Smoke crack" ...then later retracted it using the words in the past tense ... last year.  He doesn't smoke it...he did...but he doesn't now.  Given the letter of the syntax, I suppose he wasn't smoking crack cocaine at the exact moment that someone had asked him that question...apart from that ... all bets are off.  

This slippery son-of-a-bitch thought he could not be called a liar by getting "Clever" with the syntax...like some fat stupid schoolboy who ate all the cupcakes.  I'd rather that he did lie directly.  The way he did it was not only a lie but an insult as well. 

Here's the rub though:  There is a racist, gay bashing, lying alcoholic crack head in Toronto:  So what?   He's Mayor.   Toronto...not only is the world laughing at you...they are laughing at me for being in the same country as you.   Clearly...politics isn't serving us very well to have this loser, and losers like him, in a position of power.  We can't make educated guesses on who a politician is based on "How they look" and "What they say".  We should have learned that from the 'Ray gun' administration (peering over the border).  I want to see a fucking resume!   There needs to be a more complete process here.

He looks the part...and he says things that voters want to hear.  Though, in his tapes, he reportedly bashes gays and minorities pretty severely.   With all the mud HE HAS HIMSELF dragged his own name through.  With all the HUMILIATING crap this guy is proven to have done...HE WON'T STEP DOWN.   Well...judgement doesn't seem to be his main strength. 

Well I'm not going to let Toronto off the hook for this.  I don't want a guy like this IN my city...never mind RUNNING IT!   From now until the end of my days, if any Torontonian comes around telling me that their city is the best in Canada...I will look them square in the eyes and say "Rob Ford".