Bioshock Infinite - Burial at Sea Part 1 - Spoilers!!!

 

 

 

 

Set in a noire style.  BaS#1 starts off in Rapture.  Into DeWitt's detective office walks a dame with smooth skin, full lips, and 'Gams' up to her armpits (Though it would be strange to mention that fact in a style so befitting 'Noires' considering she would be his daughter in another reality!!  XD).

In the start of it, we get to see Rapture as it was before it got completely taken over by homicidally insane 'Splicers'.  You start off being contracted to find 'Sally'; a little girl who you suspect was indoctrinated into 'The little sister's' program. 

Well, to best scrutinize this plot, lets put it on the table; lay it all out there.  This is from the basic game:

First of all...this is about 'Different Realities'.  There once was a guy named Booker DeWitt.  One day he is at a Baptism.  All realities branch out from this point in 2 distinct ways.  The Booker that gets Baptized renames himself to 'Comstock' and goes on to travel through realities and becomes the leader of a big floating city.  The Booker that doesn't get Baptized goes on to get a wife and a child...but the wife dies during child birth.  Since Comstock has been travelling through all manner of different realities, he has wiped out the DNA encoding of his sperm rendering him sterile.  Making a deal with a Booker who both HAS a child and needs money, Comstock, through the Lutesces arranges a trade.  As he is leaving with the child, Booker changes his tune and wants to take the baby back.  A struggle ensues at the portal between the 2 realities; Comstock and Booker.  Comstock orders the  Lutesces to 'Shut down the portal'.  With a final Shove, Comstock pulls the baby over to his side and little Anna (Comstock renames her to Elizabeth) reaches for Booker as the portal closes and she loses half her pinky in the process.  Since her pinky was part of Booker's reality and she moved into another one...she has the ability to 'Open tears' from anomalies that exist throughout Columbia. 

In BaS#1, Anna doesn't lose her pinky...she loses her head.  The grief stricken Comstock finds a different reality and uses some fancy memory replacement mumbo jumbo to try and forget about what he had done...settling down as a detective in Rapture and calling himself 'Booker' again.

Physical logic doesn't make sense.  Even with the latitude of calling it 'Different realities' as opposed to 'Dimensions' and they still screw the pooch with the logic of the story. 

At the end, a tortured BC protests about using heat to draw out 'Sally'.  He is bitter about the use of plasmids that ruin people.  He clearly shows signs of a conscience.  Trying to pull Sally out of the hole to save her life, he remembers what his tortured soul was trying to forget: An accident where the baby that would have been Elizabeth in that reality was killed.  In his grief, He left his life as 'The Prophet' for the 'Reality' of Rapture and hoped to forget everything and focus on a day to day living.  This 'Elizabeth' - lets call her 'Queen Bitch' for short - found 'BC',  reminded him of his crime, and shoved a dagger into his heart.  Well FUCK!  This broken down investigator wasn't going to go back to Columbia and preside over it like he pretends to know redemption.  The accident changed him.  It brought him back to 'Booker'. 

You have to understand; in the main game, the main protagonist had a vision of zeppelins destroying the world in 1994 by shooting down fireballs.  1994!!!  Maybe 1694 that might work.  I'll see your fireball throwing Zeppelins and raise you 10000 F18's, Migs, F14's, F15's, F16's,  cruise missiles, airblast, Phoenix and sidewinders etc etc etc.  FUCK!!!   The really scary part about this series is how something so apparent was just missed...and a whole lot of money was piled over it!  The ideas didn't need to be 'Cool' AND 'Logical'. 

Where 'Cool' > 'Logical' let Story #Suckcock. 

You ever have a dream that is totally fascinating but none of the logic holds water?  Well that is this story - in a nutshell. 

BaS#1 has a pretty good combat system.  Although I usually expect to get a value for my gaming $$$  when I see something priced at $15, the brevity of the game makes it rather expensive for the time you will actually end up playing this and the lack of replay value.  In some way it is more like watching a movie than playing a game since the value is more about what it reveals than the physical combat.
  
You think the first area that you go into is "The tutorial" mission area.  You get past that and you are into the main game.  Well...you get past what you think is the 'Tutorial area' and the game ends.

Blinded by her own rage over what the later Comstock did to her, Elizabeth reminded Comstock that he was actually the one that received 'The baby' and shoved a dagger into his heart.  If she was thinking clearly, she would have realized that this person that she had killed was presently more Booker than Comstock. 

"WHAT!?" 

This is what you are going to be saying!  "Thanks for doing all that...here's your reward!"  It's Skyrim levels of 'Self Face Pissing'.  The writers are so far up their own asses, you would think THEY would disappear all together!!!  Hell...I can't even explain it without doing some serious yoga and sphincter stretching of my own!!!

Get ready to shell out more $$$ for part 2.

There is only one physical problem with the game.  The 'USE' button is mixed up with the 'Switch weapon' button...a SECOND ONE!  So if you are hustling through a combat and want to 'USE' something as you race over at high speed.  You miss but also switch weapons to something you don't want to use...or is out of ammo...it's just a hassle. 

There is much in the way of voice acting.  Much detail has been used to provide a version of rapture that is quite beautiful.  Unfortunately, it does seem that the warm-up turns out to be the full game and you can't help but to feel just a little ripped off. 

-1.5 for a disjointed and illogical story.  But...
+1 for imagination (though unrestrained)
-1.5 for being shorter than Santa's elves in cold water. 
-1 for a 'Use' key that doubles as a 'change weapon' button (even though that button is something else as well!)
-1 for targeting the economically minded gamers who try to buy their games in a certain price range.

6 - Worth a look-see.  If you are a fan of the series and can spare the money...go for it.  It's not a really good value product.  This game is 90 minutes with no replay value to speak of.  The voice acting is outstanding, however. 

Survivor Brawns, Brains, Beauty (S28E06) "The Head of the Snake"

It hasn't been worth the effort to blog about Survivor BBB to this point from the last time I wrote.  Though interesting, The choices have been pretty logical. 

The 3 tribes merged into 2 with all 3 remaining members of the Brains tribe being fortunate to be on the same team.  They were matched with 3 members of the former Beauty team...who were tripping over themselves to let the Brain team know how much they hated each other...and one member from the former Brawn team; Sarah (the Cop).  With a smirk, the Brains took out a member of the former Beauty team and thus had run of the tribe.  Since I can't remember the name of the new tribe, I will just call them 'The new Brains tribe'.

Pictured above is Tony; one hell of a player.  A Jersey City cop with much Savvy.  With this new tribe, he was calling the shots.  Since I can't remember the name of that tribe...let's call them 'Tony's Tribe'.

On Tony's tribe, Cliff (former NBA player) was voted out.  It was more of a strategic move.  His one ally; Lindsay bailed out of the game.  Being a lazy, weak bully didn't seem to work for her after she didn't have the numbers to back it up.  She must have sucked like a nuclear Hoover...because after she left, the team had a strong spirit and excellent energy!

On winning the last immunity challenge, Tony made a strategic error in his elation and declared his team to be the "Final 5!".  Since he had made a promise to Sarah previously, she realized that, despite his promise otherwise, she was no longer part of his alliance.  The remaining (former) Beauty members realized that they had to play the game smart...Thus 'The new Brain Tribe'  and 'Tony's Tribe' polarized into brand new alliances.

This takes us up to Episode 06
 
There is a merge.  11 players merge into a brand new tribe.  All the 6 in the dominant position need to do is to stay focused.  Sarah (The Policewoman):

 

Decides that she is in a position of power.  She takes dominance of 'The new brain tribe' alliance.  2 of the original Brain tribe (the council of 3;  Spencer, Kass, Tasha) played it smart and let Sarah 'Call the Shots' if she wanted to believe she was.  Kass, on the other hand, got a total nerd boner against Sarah (a Spaz) and made an emotional decision to side with Tony's Alliance and voted against her own alliance ... killing the majority advantage of her own alliance. 

 

Kassandra;  More Flaky than a Spanikopita

 

Despite the friction between Kass and Sarah, Latasha tried to smooth things over with them both.  She was fairly nice with Sarah because, as a possible swing vote, they need to keep on her good side.  Despite the logic of this, Kass decided that it was like a parent that was playing favorites.  That seems indicative of her emotional immaturity taking precedence over her ability for logical reasoning.  This isn't the first time this game that Kass has gone neurotic in the 'Swing' position.  It seems she takes pride in being (as she calls herself:) "Chaos Kass".  Flexing her muscle of arbitrariness as she did before...like she never had even a bit of power in her life and only abused it when she had it.  The rest of the members of the New Brains alliance played it smart.  They made it look like they were going to vote for LJ or Tony...and, after flushing out both idols in Tony's alliance to protect those 2 members, they all voted for Jefra:

 

 

Flush out 2 idols and reducing the opposing alliance numbers by 1?  Brilliant.  Well it would have been except the Attorney at Spaz Mindlesson and Assoc. (Kass) Blew it with an emotional decision.

 

 

Where does that leave Kassandra?  As near as I can figure it...she's going out in 6th place.  Neither alliance really trusts her.  In Tony's 5...she's the outsider.  In the New Brain alliance...she's someone who can't be trusted.  It would be in the Brains' best interest to keep her thinking that she's safe.  If she continues to be unpredictable then no one really has any use for her. 

 

The vote at tribal council did flush out 2 hidden immunity idols held by Tony's Alliance.  It also removed the potential of a flip by former Brawn member.  Now the field is truly level.  Two alliances of 5 members each and no immunity idols to be played. 

 

The Monosexual (she fucked herself).

 

 

 

Skyrim - Dawnguard

Here I sit broken hearted. 
Dawnguard was born as Bethesda farted. 

From their ass came this DLC. 
I paid $5 when it shouldn't have been 3. 

The Characters complex as stereotypes are;
if you are a little thick, that's sarcasm in a jar.

The grizzled vampire hunter has much fame...
you might know him as "Batman" in any other game.

The OCD girl obsessing about the Dwemer. 
The rookie with an axe.  The troll with a femur.

The 'obvious guy' with a thick accent so loud.  (of course)
Hits a bear with his willy and sends it through a cloud.

A vampire that whines and complains like a tool.
OMG...that's not JUST a"Vampire" it's one from a high school!

They broke the alchemy lab when it was working before.
Its code broke to pieces when vampires crashed through the door

The people in the town won't attack your partner or you. 
If another vampire pops in, he's dusty before the count of 2. 

Despite all their powers...despite all they've fought
...the 'Vampire threat' seem to be vacant of thought.

They'll crash into town with odds of 100 to 1. 
It never occurs to them 'this is fucked...I'd better run!'

Lack of thinking and gameplay and holes in the plot. 
With AI the same with more hit points in the pot. 

The numbers increase while my intellect drops like a rock. 
Is my Vampire partner fighting?  Or sucking figurative cock?
 
Though she is supposed to be sneaky, it's a skill she never uses. 
She blows covers as well like she wants more abuses.

She'll get everyone angry...and then they'll see me. 
I'll have to finish what she started while she stays on her knee. 

With cool points to choose from the writer here went wrong;
he sat on the fence so long, it ended up smelling like a thong.

You might remember hating any 'Fallout New Vegas' DLC
To be honest, the only fair price for this one is 'FREE'!


Conclusion:
5/10.  They broke some functionality of the original game.  Annoying attacks all the time mean
being essentially nagged to do the expansion missions.   It's typical Bioshock BS AI.  Making an enemy tougher by stacking hit points and damage in their favor rather than switching up their tactics. 
It's worth a 'Looksee' but that's about it. 

Survivor - Brawns Brains Beauty (episode 1 - 2 hr)

Three words:  WHAT THE HELL!? 

To preface;  all 3 teams are divided up by having members who's personal attribute may be highest in the specific category;  Beauty, Brains or Brawn.  What we actually saw was that Beauty or Brawn does not preclude that their members don't have enough brains to get them by and that the 'Brains' team has an extra component of neurosis and over-confidence in poorly thought out decisions.

The first thing that happened was for each team to choose a leader.  LJ was chosen from the Beauty tribe because he resonated as a confident, intelligent individual.

Sarah was chosen as leader of the Brawn team for literally the same reason.  She resonated confidence and intelligence.

The Brains team voted in David because - uh - Well...because he was wearing a blazer (forehead slap) 

The first duty of each 'Team Leader' was to eliminate 1 member of their team.  It was said that this person would leave the game. 

LJ selected Morgan (a hot NFL Cheerleader).  He figured that her being so "Hot" would create drama and unwanted alliances around camp and that she might not contribute as much as someone who wasn't as good looking.

Sarah chose Trish to leave.  Ironically, Trish was Sarah's most vocal supporter to be the leader.  Sarah felt that Trish was older and skinnier and may not have the physical power compared to the other tribe members.

Okay...so who did David choose?  Well, it seemed that David was thinking 'Strategically'.  He decided that once you get 3/4 of the way into the game, the person to look out for would be both the strongest and the smartest...and that would be 'Garrett'.  David seemed to have missed the fact that he wasn't actually 3/4 of the way into the game in the first 10 minutes of episode 1!  If you get rid of your strongest people up front, your team loses consistently and you will be lucky to be around even 1/2 of the way into the game.  He wasn't aware of the fact that, being just over 5 feet tall, David, himself might have been made 'Uncomfortable' by Garrett who was well over 6 feet...which may have been the subliminal reason for his poor decision.  (Little men are complex like that)

So; the plot twist:  The selected members are, in fact, not going to be eliminated from the competition, but rather, sent ahead to the selected base.  Further, unbeknownst to the rest of the team, they are given a choice;  They can get a clue to the immunity idol or have another bag of rice for the team.  Morgan and Garrett chose the idol clue while Trish opted for the extra bag of rice.  Garrett found the idol but Morgan couldn't before their respective teams pulled up to the camp.  They mentioned something about a 'Clue to certain things'.   Garrett said something about a water source.  Morgan; about camp supplies.  It was a nice cover.  Trish didn't need to lie. 

Most of the teams are working smoothly to construct their shelter.  Here is J'Tia.  Model turned nuclear engineer from Chicago.  While the other teams had built their shelters as a team effort, J'Tia (of the "Brains" team) felt that the political model for this enterprise had to be more of a hierarchical structure.  Since she was the "Nuclear Engineer", she had more "Brains" than anyone else on the team.  Presenting her 2 dimensional line graph where a construction worker would be on the bottom and she was on the top...she figured that she was better able to "construct" something...or at least "Instruct" those who were "Lesser" than she on how to do it.  With a pattern of linear thinking that is all too predominate with those who have far too much confidence in their own limited definition of intelligence,  the rest of the team said "Yeah...that makes sense".    J'Tia proceeded to boss her way to unpopularity as people started to realize that she wasn't the right choice for foreman. 

Hmmm...nice brains.  Oh...I didn't mention that she was a Playboy model, did I?

 

Not surprisingly, "Brains" lost the challenge.  The Survivor Darwin award goes to David for thinking 12 episodes ahead while ignoring the first 20 minutes in front of his nose.  No surprise...and not much in the way of drama.  But wait!  There's more!

 

For the next challenge, there is a structure in the water.  The entire team needs to swim out to this structure and climb over the top to the inside...swim down and untie barrels containing puzzle pieces.  There is a bottom hatch to haul the barrels out and onto the beach where a puzzle needs to be solved.  J'Tia was sluggish in the water for the Brains team.  They couldn't climb over the top until she got to the structure.  Then the Brains team was making up ground...and they were first onto the beach with a herculean effort.  The puzzle pieces were taken out and it was up to the "Most intelligent" member of the team to assemble the puzzle.  Yeah...here we go again.  Once again, linear thinking prevails with the academics and who could be "More Intelligent" than a Nuclear Engineer.  Well...apparently everyone since both other teams,  one of which was severely trailing, were able to complete their puzzles while J'Tia had managed to fit only 2 pieces. 

 

At camp, everyone on the Brains team was entirely disappointed.  It was clear that they had lost the challenge...and it was clear why. 

 

The Brainiac 

 

Garrett, unfortunately, decided to have an "Open Forum" about the subject.  He stated that the reason that they lost the challenge was clear and they should all vote out the weakest link.  Unfortunately, this is Survivor, not group therapy.  Honesty will only get you used...or, with more than one person, get people pissed off at you. 

 

Latasha Fox objected.  She doesn't want an "Open forum".  She wants to play the game.  Latasha's game is to convince this idiot:

 

   (Kassandra)

 

...that it's all about the 'Boys forming an alliance versus the girls'.  Once again showing how this team of "Brainiacs" can see a fly at a mile but miss the elephant sitting on their dinner.  At this point in the game, all you should be concerned about is having a strong team.  Garrett comes over to where these two are having a meeting...with his pal in tow...leaving J'Tia (Is that French for I, Bitch!?) alone at the camp.  J'Tia throws the teams rice on the fire because she is "Justifiably pissed off" for Garrett's callousness.  Kassandra, who mentioned that she was about to support the women to eliminate the men in the tribe, points out the irony that J'Tia's action has closed the door on her aligning herself with her.  Apparently all doors with Kassandra tend to open and close very randomly and frequently as she changed her opinion, YET AGAIN, at tribal council.  J'Tia and Latasha have an iron clad alliance between them (huh?  I wonder why?  Uh...no I don't).

 

  Kassandra feels powerful because she has the 'Swing vote'.  The only power she actually has is to determine who 4 and 5 are going to be.  A stronger team means the ability to turn this thing around and win some challenges.  At tribal council...Jeff's questions, usually designed to stir the pot, barely leave his mouth before the team cascades into an orgy of neurosis.  Jeff refers to them as both enlightening and crazy.  All lessons of how not to stick your foot in your mouth seem to be lost on Garrett.  He opens his mouth and blatantly blurts out that Kassandra is in an alliance with him and...

 

...Spencer Bledsoe.

 

Kassandra turns around and says "Fuck you...there is no alliance with me" (or something like that).  "How dare you assume, and that is going to cost you".   At the cost of the strength of the team for the perception that she will save herself in the short term *"When" her team loses again (Okay she's a negative idiot as well)  She went with the alliance of women. 

 

But, Like an Oreo, the soft creamy centre will be consumed first.  I hope you enjoyed flexing your muscle of arbitrariness, Kassandra because, if you don't side with Spencer to have a chance of getting rid of J'Tia...you're out after him.  Way to join the brains team and make decisions with your emotions (...and this person is a lawyer!?).   See this is why I have no faith in the justice system.

 

Garrett gets voted out leaving the immunity idol back at camp.   He is bemused...and slightly amused as well I think.  He honestly had too much trust in his team to make a proper decision.  There shouldn't be alliances at this stage.  The only thing anyone should be thinking about at this point is "What is best for the team so that it can better compete against the other teams".  This clear thought was not so clear with his team. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Borderlands 2 Ultimate Vault Hunter Mode Review

Okay.  You can play UVHM if you beat Borderlands 2 on True vault hunter mode...but you cannot raise your experience without a 'Season pass'.  That will be $17 Canadian, please.  $15 US.  I'd like to under cut Gearbox.  If you give me $10...I will come to your residence and kick you in the nuts.  In effect producing the same relative experience...and saving you both time and money. 

The game starts off with bullymongs attacking.  They are no longer push-overs.  They are ridiculously brutal.  All those firearms that you used to be proud of back in TVHM...with numbers you agonized over?  They are all relative shit now.  Everything is relative shit.   The code monkeys went into the allocation of variables...and cranked them all up times 4.  Yeah...real technical stuff (Oh...that's cynicism).  You do get caught up in the challenge of the game.  Which is what caught me for several days.  You can no longer play the way you used to.  Having a slag weapon is a 'Must have' now rather than a 'I can't be bothered'.  There is no 'Rampage'.  You are everyone's bitch in a direct fight.  Use of cover and guerrilla fighting to keep you alive and capable of winning is a must.  Because of the degree at which the game was made harder, it forces people to group up...and form units who's members abilities must work well with the next.  For those who aren't into that degree of cooperative play...you can get a good deal into the game before all your dying and the 'Boss stat trash mobs' take their toll on your sense of logic even in denial.  I once said that this was the worst kind of 'Hard mode'.  You don't improve the AI...you just raise the hit points.  For 3 fucking years, Gearbox has been milking the shit out of Borderlands 2.  They've mostly earned their money with each expansion.  It looks like they are just getting lazy now. 

It's kind of cool that you can completely change the play of the game by manipulating a few variables...which is relatively quite simple.  I enjoyed the challenge of the game.  It was a nice feeling that, after a level had kicked you ass, that you finally came back and beat it.  It demands more from the player.  It is all it has.  When I finally awoke from my stupor of denial,  I realized that, apart from
being challenged, it wasn't the game I wanted to play. 

Review: Far Cry 2 **Spoilers**

I make a lot of references to 'Far Cry 3' in this review.  To keep this easily readable, FC3 will be in bold (as in bolder and better). 

Though I would consider FC3 to be one of my favorite games.  FC 1 and 2 occupy a different category. 

FC 2 manages to extract every joy from all aspects to the game.  You literally do something because 'someone tells you to'...there is no reason for you to do anything except for money and medication.  You get what is called 'History' with your 'Buddies' (who are, in actual fact, just a bunch of greedy jerks who end up stabbing you in the back) if you want to take 3 times longer doing your regular missions...and do the numerous 'Buddy' missions as well.  There are 5 bus depots in each act of the map (one in each corner and one in the center).  The buses can fast travel between each depot.  The map is GIGANTIC...and everyone that you see outside the 'no fire' zone IS an enemy (you might be working for their boss but you are 'under cover').  The hardest setting makes driving feel like you are traveling around in a big neon lit up bullseye with gas filled jerry cans for armour.  All your buddies want you to do something for them.  In exchange, the designated rescue buddy will save you if you go down.  You walk around the whole game feeling like some ground pounding chump that everyone else uses to do their shit.  There's a bigger story in that there are 2 factions that want to run the country...and the antics that each goes through to sabotage the other.  The guy who armed both sides was the original target you were sent into the country to assassinate. 

At the end of the game...when you are feeling like everything you did was a pointless waste of time ...you end up killing even people you liked because they were going to turn on you ... or had already done so.  You are ambushed by all those 'Buddies' that you did so much for.  The 'original target' guy comes up to you and says that both you and him suck ... and that you both should kill each other after you do one final good thing.  The odd part is that the writing in the dialogue is actually quite good.  Delivered quick and devoid of emotion...like an auctioneer accountant at 3 am, however. 

There was supposed to be a mechanic for notoriety.  This wasn't actually activated that the time of FC2's release...and they never bothered to patch it in.  So doing the buddy missions unlocks upgrades to safe houses.  Between acts, this resets anyways...so there is actually no reason to do anything for a buddy in Act 1.  But this is the game...so you want to play the game?  Then do the buddy missions.  The Story for FC3 compels you onward.  You are inherent to the plot...and have a reason for doing what you do.  In FC2...the plot is external to you.  You are simply a hammer in the communal toolbox.  You are a good hammer...but still just a tool.  The story reminds you of that every chance it gets.  It's like having your grandmother watch you play an FPS just to guilt trip you every time you kill something.  So 'History' and 'Reputation' are useless.  The story makes you want to stop playing.  Weapon upgrades are about the only reason to keep going.  Well how about driving in some rolling hills?  You see a dune buggy...you see rolling hills.  You get into the dune buggy...and hit a rock 20 yards in front of you that the long grass happened to have hid...time and again.  Hell...you even go through the whole game in various stages of sickness from Malaria!  The only thing good about FC2 was it's sequel.  If you pay attention to the NPCs...one of the voices that seem to be more emotionally involved in what they are saying stands out from the rest.  That would be the voice of Julian Casey (He plays 'Buck' in FC3). 

There isn't anything physically wrong with the game mechanics in FC2.  I do enjoy a good story ... and your role in this story is to be another cockroach in an infestation.  You just happen to be a tougher cockroach than all the others.  It's nice to think that your actions will have an instrumental effect on the outcome.  In this game?  You're just the story's bitch.  It doesn't matter WHAT you do.  The effect of all things you do is NOTHING good.  This might be a good revelation if say the story had led you along for most of the game...but you figure this out VERY early in the game.  You're essentially what Jason Brody kills en-masse in the second half of FC3...just another chump doing someone's dirty work for money.  It makes me feel like playing...something else.  You do one extremely unselfish thing to save a lot of people at the very end...and then you are expected to kill yourself for being 'Diseased' (sociopathically selfish).   Yes ... I believe the irony HAD escaped the writer in question.  

   

XD