More LowLights from the Stanley Cup Playoffs

More photos of the 2011 Stanley Cup Riot:

Once again...congratulations go out to the parents;  They're the really big losers of the Stanley Cup playoffs.  Teach your kids to take pride in themselves...not in a fucking sports team.

Stanley Cup Riots in Vancouver...AGAIN!

As it turns out, the big losers of the Stanley Cup finals weren't the Canucks who actually were rather good about the whole thing.  Sure they lost...but in many ways they won as well.  One game short of the Stanley Cup?  Fuckin' A (Well maybe an A- but still pretty good).   To be honest?   They'll be back and they will learn from what they did right and what they did wrong (or at least I hope so).   Boston deserved the win...they out scored the Canucks 3-1 in 7 games.

The big loser were the parents of the Vancouver teens and 20 somethings who pursued the 'group-think'.   Thousands of young people Rioting in the streets of downtown Vancouver.  Well that's what you get for mating with thugs; Thick, stupid children who have no respect for anything.  Congrats to all you parents who had a kid out there breaking things.  This is for you.


We really showed Boston and the rest of the world how gracious we can be even in defeat (and if you don't get it, ask a friend).  Hopefully each and every one of the people identified by the copious amount of evidence will be presented with a hefty fine for being a complete idiot.  Either that or have a group show up at their place and break their stuff (actually...I kind of like that idea).


Man...I saw the `group-think` going toward downtown.  My wife had the car so I was taking the skytrain into Burnaby going West.  The crowd going toward the stadium was ready to fight.  I don`t think even cheering a victory would have satisfied them.  There was a negative vibe...they were out to tear shit up.   The pictures are courtesy of the Winnipeg Sun http://www.winnipegsun.com/photos

More to follow

Duke Nukem Forever - One more thing

If you are old enough to be a fan of the original Star Trek...do you remember how badly the first movie sucked?

10 years after the series ended and it arrived so badly short of expectation that everyone shook their heads and sighed.  Was it the movie company (Paramount?) resting their heads on the original appeal of the series...maybe.  The series came together as a combination of chemistry between production, writing and acting.  A movie 10 years after, with mostly different staff,  isn't going to hit the ground running.  It's very difficult to re-create the soul of something.   As far as I'm concerned... you can't.  Star Trek died when its production was cancelled back in '68.  So let`s take this back to the Duke.

Duke didn't Fail...it just tried to be too much and spread itself too thin.  I want sales of this game to rocket.  We got the Duke Nukem The Motion Picture TF out  of the way;  I want to see Duke Nukem's 'Wrath of Khan'.

Seriously...Duke IS Ranxerox for Americans.  As Brutality goes, Ranxerox got him beat though.

KHAN!!!

Duke Nukem Forever - Review

(The original Duke Nukem)

That's right folks.  Ranxerox was a creation that was published in Heavy Metal Adult Comics before the creation of the Duke Nukem 1.  This guy had edge and brutality that would make the Duke look like Santa Claus by comparison.  Not so much quantity of villains (like Duke) but more the brutality against even the tiniest of social infractions.   Like say for instance the guy sitting on Duke's throne would have been kicked in the ass so hard that he would have gotten airtime and needed surgery after.

Could the creators have used Ranxerox as a template...or could Duke have been made not that long after it and just happened to have the same formula for a protagonist?  Who knows but really?  Not likely for the latter. 

  

Background

In any event Duke Nukem Forever is here at long last.  I remember 'Duke Nukem 3D' coming out in '96.  It really kicked ass and chewed bubble gum.  That game was created by a passionate crew that had a vision about Duke and had some new technology at the time that was not used by anyone else.  'Technology' would be the stumbling block for the attempt to pursue a sequel.  The small team kept having their incarnation of the project become obsolete before they were halfway close to finishing. Eventually, two heavy hitters came to the aid of the Duke;  2k Games and Gearbox, and DNF got done. 

Up Front

The game starts off very fun.  Duke re-enacts the final battle from DN3D with modern embellishments.  Afterwards, pulling back from a TV screen, you see Duke was actually playing his own game.  I won't spoil what happens but there are a couple of women dressed up like school girls who finish up giving  Duke an oral report sans words.  Duke has his own casino...strip club...burger franchise... you name it.  There is even a 'Duke' musical.  A lot of the farce is still alive and well. 

The parts do not equal the whole

How can you recreate Duke that won't disapoint an audience that either remembers the impact of the old Duke or one that is a new audience that just completely doesn't get it?  Challenging to say the least.  There is heart to this game.  I'm not sorry that I bought it.  It was, however, seemingly done by a committee in it's mechanics.  I will discuss these points:

Super size the duke!  Instead of saying 'power armor is for pussies' A Duke wearing serious armor to boost his strength and protection could make a fun romp and killathon. 

Where's the damn jet pack?  It's not in the single player campaign.  Yeah...we'll throw that away along with the key cards and have these movement puzzles all over the place...you know...add the worst fucking part of Half-life.  Don't get me wrong...I'm all for juxtaposition.   The last thing I would want is to turn Duke into a cacophony of gun fight and non-stop action like 'Call of Duty'.   It's just that if I were to enjoy a little down time, I'd rather be anywhere else than to wade in shit looking for the right size barrels to throw into a hopper.  

Duke is trying to make too many people happy...and ends up making no one happy.  In the old Duke, you could choose your pace.  You could literally get the jet pack in 45 seconds and end the first level in under a minute and a half if you were so inclined...of course you would miss out on all the stuff to see and grab in between.   If you had the jet pack, you could cut corners if you were so inclined.  The beauty of it is that you wanted to see what was around the next corner. 

STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS EVERYONE   The new generation of gamers are picky to say the least.  Do not try to sacrifice fun for realism.  To a point...sure.  But you need to know that level.  It doesn't matter if Duke is carrying around 3 tons worth of weapons and ammo...if the player is enjoying himself...that is all that matters.  Enjoyment is coupled with immersion for gaming.  If you can destroy a boss with a static discharge from rubbing yourself against a carpet...you lost me.   Losing half the weapons available to you because you can only carry 2 mains is way too far the other way.   Someone wasn't really in charge of the full artistic development of the project in regard to the mechanics.  In other words, this was done by committee.  You can't have a pizza with all the toppings and have everyone who likes at least one of the toppings enjoy the entire pizza (all committees do this) rather you should pick the toppings that work well together and reflect the main aspect of the game.  Which leads me to my next point.

Aspect to the game.   What are you trying to do?  Do you want a movement puzzle game like Halflife or a free flowing fly around on the jetpack game?  Well...lets think about this.  IT'S DUKE FFS!!!

Do you want a 'Design combination' 2 weapon slot type game that would keep things interesting in Multiplayer because not everyone can have all weapons...or...Do you want everyone to be able to carry all the weapons and plenty of ammo?  Well you don't start with Prepackaged combinations of weapons (like you would in Team Fortress) and it makes sense.  It's not an army game and there is no sandbox to set up an attack strategy in the single player game.  In 3D you had options.   People liked having options.  You can't plan an attack strategy not knowing what is going to happen next.  You end up picking the 'Safe' weapons and not having as much fun.  I found that one out walking into a fight with a couple of Assault Commanders with a fucking shrink ray (as it turns out, it's hard to squish something under your feet that, even shrunk, is bigger than you and is flying over your head...funny about that). 

Do you want a visually interesting game or do you want a game that is grey, dark and spooky.  I'd say that when you go 'Dark and Spooky' go 'Seriously Dark and Spooky'.  Step the fuck up to the plate.  I don't want any more of this bullshit where I have to constantly switch between night vision and standard vision wondering which one sucks less.  Some games use darkness as a means to enhance intensity.  The plot or intensity of the characters tends to enhance this effect.   Slapping wall tits isn't exactly one of those things that enhances intensity...and I'd rather be slapping wall tits than being all serious and spooky all the time...once again:  IT'S DUKE FFS!!! 

Bubbles in Swimming to catch my breath?  Ok...obviously (and hopefully) sarcasm pointed at any stupid game where you stand on a vent blowing out air bubbles to breath underwater (Sonic the Hedgehog).   Or at least I hope so.  This serves a second purpose in the fact that it guides a player to his destinations. 

What did I like?  The Ego as a shield and being able to build that up.  I loved the strip club in the middle of it.  The fetch quest was completely tongue in cheek.  I liked the fact that Duke kept having fun with pop culture references and satires.  At the end he satired 'Call of Duty Modern Warfare'.   I liked the cheesy one-liners...in moderation.   The enemies were mostly tough and you didn't have to flood the area with them to make it a challenge.  To be honest...I liked the T'nA.  I liked the bling and materialism and the interaction with other people was a step in the right direction as well.

I would normally give this game a  6 out of 10 but the Duke factor takes it to a 7.  Well that and I'm a big fan of satirical humor.

Celebrity Apprentice...ooooo kay

Well quite a surprise today.  I have to say that there is a not-so fine line between paranoid and 'Paranoid Schizophrenic'.  I have to say ahead of my comments that I resent watching mentally disturbed people under turmoil presented as 'Reality Drama'. 

Nene Leakes

I was hard on Nene to start.  I thought she was abusive and heavy handed because she was a natural bully.  The truth is that Nene is quite a beautiful person.  She believes that the battles that she is engaging in are the real deal.  The truth of it is that Nene is obviously a paranoid schizophrenic.  She went off on Star like she was some cartoon villain...right in front of Donald and his entourage.   It was a level delusional in its escalation as well as the inappropriate time and place for such an outburst.  I believe that when Nene sets her mind to doing something, and all is well on an emotional level for her, that she can engage and be a decent member of the team.  When you have to spend more energy managing someone's emotional stability than actually performing the task...it's time for that person to leave.

She didn't leave.  I believe they kept her around for dramatic value...which I feel is on the verge of exploitation and leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth.  Not cool Don.

La Toya is back

In an unprecidented move, Don brought La Toya back.  This time she will be serving the men's team.  
I hope she will do well.  She made peace with Nene in the last episode.   La Toya doesn't care for Star but I think that position is more strategic than actual.

Hope (middle) Star (Right)

Hope was the scapegoat for the team losing.  There isn't a damn thing wrong with Hope except for the fact that if you put her between Bombastic and Bossy...she looks meek.  Hope was the one to keep.  I fully believe that the decision to keep Nene was one to bolster the drama of the show.  I had come to expect a higher level of standards from the Don and Mark Burnett.  If all reality shows are circling the drain toward 'Jerry Springer'dom, count me out.

Star was her classy self.  You could see the preposterousness of the accusations coming out of Nene not resonating with the rest of her team.  Star made the production what it was...despite her wanting to drop it and leave Nene hanging.  Star put her emotions aside and put her best effort forward for the team... a true professional.  Her recommendations were quite astute.  Essentially, when Nene isn't a complete paranoid psycho, she's a good member of the team.  Clearly the choice to kick off was Nene.  Hope is both subtle and capable.

Bin Laden is Toast

All America is cheering for the death of an angry man who masterminded the attack of 911.  It bothers me that the US is in their La La land over the possibility of reprisals.  Are we really that stupid to believe that Osama was some James Bond villain, sitting in his comfy chair stroking a white cat and plotting the downfall of the US?  Osama came from the idea that the US is an evil place with evil people running it.  Yes I use the word 'IS'.  That idea didn't die with Osama.  Why do they feel that way?  People must ask themselves.  Why?   Do you blame the person who hates you, or do you wonder what it is that you have done to give them a reason to hate you?  US...one word; 'Softwood Lumber'.   There are many more reasons around the world.  It's ironic that the US has declared a war on terrorism when they fail to see the terrorists within.

So the US...who's populace must be mostly fucking morons are celebrating tonight.  I'm afraid.  I see an act of aggression escalation.  My brother might be a heavy handed asshole...but he's still my brother.  Not a good plan making an enemy of a culture with a VERY long memory.  A man has died tonight.  On the other side of the world there are those who mourn his passing; who vow to avenge him...as we have avenged the victims of 911.  The US cannot stop terrorism no sooner than it can stop a rainy day.  It's like trying to get someone from hating you by punching them in the face.  If you want to clear the air, you must apologize sincerely, deal fairly, and give it time <-- terms not in the US vocabulary.

The US didn't cut the head off the dragon...it was a hydra...and now it's pissed.

Celebrity Apprentice...La Toya is gone

Well La Toya...you are a better person than I am.   To embrace Nene?  To go for the 'Heal through love' option in your relationship with her?  That takes a grown up person with a refined sense of compassion.
As that happened I saw that Nene was quite a beautiful person, unfortunately wrapped up in some serious trust issues.  You were starting to look pretty hot to me, La Toya.  The group-think put you out the door.  Don't let it get to you. 

Star facilitated a clearing of the air.  Kudos to you Star!  Serious mark of a leader there.  Your group lost the task this time around.  If I could say anything it was due to a lack of input from your team mates, or the reception of that input from you.  Not sure which.  I see serious potential in you.  Fine tuning is all that is required.

Nene Leakes.  You come from a bad place of mistrust and aggressive confrontation.   In your world there is no trust so you must seek to control.   That's not a happy place.   However I was able to peek underneath that and see that there is a beautiful person in that bad place.  I just hope she finds her way out. 

Meat-loaf.  It didn't escape my attention that they have been using the 'Gary Busey' music with you.  There are three people left in your team and the other two are roughly the same age.  One person is going to be out of place.  The men's team messed up large in this assignment.  It was the passion and the delivery of the presentation that saved them.   Seems to me 'Youth' and 'Eye for detal' are mutual exclusives.