We all grew up thinking Las Vegas was the Mecca of excitement. When someone says the city's name, we all think Bright Neon Lights, Excitement, Epic Grand Structures, Fun, The Rat Pack, Elvis Presley. The City's image is sexy and cool. It is iconic.
But the fact of the matter is that the city is a codependent whore...that hates itself and the tourists for it being that way. Without tourism, this city would die. It is their only industry. Everything else in this city wraps around the influx of money and visitors.
-One of the maids that isn't tipped will scrub the toilet with your toothbrush (in at least one circumstance that I've heard of).
-A Cab driver who needs to make a little extra will "Long Haul" you to your destination.
-If you ask for a "Bloody Caesar" in the lounge off of the main foyer in Caesar's Palace, the waiter will present you with a "Bloody Mary". If you tell him that "This is tomato juice...not Clamato", he will present you with the only can of Clamato he's ever touched. THE empty can of Clamato to fool Canadian tourists with.
-If you are lounging in the loungers by the pool at Caesar's Palace ... and one of the overlords in one of the $10 Million suites that face the inner court yard doesn't like you being there, You will be told by security that the Loungers that you are Lounging in are NOT for Lounging (True Fact!)
-Be aware that there is a Chinese Food Restaurant in a mall in a Hotel just off the strip (Palms). The food is pretty good except for the fact that they will occasionally drop into your Chow Mein a pepper so hot it will almost make you gag as your face go completely red. If you see black don't send it back...throw it back in their faces.
-Most of the food is fucking awful. If it doesn't give you gas, indigestion and bloating you're not in Vegas. I don't want to spend $55 on an over cooked steak and rubbery prawns...but if you do, go to the fancy Restaurant in the Golden Nugget. I prefer that if I'm going to have something bad for me that it, at least, tastes good. Seriously, the Mob must still be in charge because the whole place is Mob stupid. Guys! Salad Bar! I can't spend money if I'm confined to my hotel room not wanting to be away from the can! Idiots.
-Also "Hospitality" means being nice. You are not "Entitled" to MY FUCKING MONEY! If your Overlords aren't paying you enough...THEN THAT'S THEM!!! Seriously...you pay for the Electricity, the machines and the buildings...and it should be run like a money making farm but the right wing overlords get greedy and say to the employees "Don't look at us! You should expect tips as well" (Fleecing the customer even further). But, you see, then the customer is wandering around going "Are these people nice because they are nice...or are they nice because I've been tipping and they want my money." So the customer ends up going somewhere less phony next vacation. This epiphany would occur to someone who wasn't MOB(like) stupid greedy and thick.
-I was at a concert sitting next to one guy who was 'A Local'. He told me "I don't like you tourists coming into our town and cranking up the prices on these here concert tickets". So I told him "Hey I'm just here for a good time and to enjoy the show". Then I took that away and I thought about it. If I was going to a KISS concert, I would spend twice as much (for shoddy seats) where I live for a fucking tribute band as I would pay for awesome seats for the real deal in Vegas. Without Tourists, this Local will have not been able to see KISS at all!!! It is because Tourists that Vegas stays afloat. He would have had to drive 6 (I'm guessing here) hours to LA to see the same show. The tourists don't crank up the prices...they keep it down...and they keep the good shows coming in.
In 2009, Las Vegas Suffered terribly. Vegas relies on expendable income to stay afloat. Without enough visitors to maintain the balance, the bottom literally fell out. People walked away from their houses and vagrancy was epidemic. At one time, you could get a house for 50k Canadian in Vegas. So, in the wake of that loss, Vegas was humbled. They realized they needed visitors and incentives to get visitors to visit. Now they humbly provide excellent service and step it up to be as friendly and generous as possible to guests especially to the foreign visitors, who, without their contribution would have caused Vegas to have suffered even more greatly.
YEAH RIGHT!!!
You can't expect learning from those who have more opinions than brain cells. More opinions than actual facts to base them on (never mind cross referencing!). Vegas has an entitlement complex that is far too intrinsic to be cleared up with just one application of applied wisdom. Vegas has been a drunken haven for some of the worst people on the planet for over 50 years...and it generically hates its own visitors for it!
I know how I sound here but I'm not very aggressive or confrontational at all. There are good people in Vegas but the assholes and greedy bastards tend to make the trip feel phony and shitty.
Just to make my journey complete, on the cab ride back, the cabby asked us if we 'Enjoyed your visit to Vegas?'. Sure...we had some good times. We didn't let the bad stuff get us down and we found enough good people and good times to make it worth our while. So we said 'Sure...we had a good time'. Then, and proof positive of the thickness of some Americans, he said this with such pride: "Well if we let you leave with any money at all, we haven't done our jobs". Wow...way to put the cherry on the tombstone.
'Vegas' is the Princess of the Desert.
Say 'No' to the Princess
Tips for a Better Vegas:
- Get rid of tips. Pay your employees a decent wage so that all visitors are treated without ulterior motive. No one wants to feel cheap and no one wants to be a suck hole. Get rid of it.
- Smoking. Get rid of it. It's not the 70's. It's not cool to smoke anymore. There are non-toxic alternatives to smoking these days. I have sympathy for the smokers as I used to be one. If you have money to spend 5 minutes on a slot, you have enough to sate those cravings without being an ass to others for up to 2 weeks.
- WTF is wrong with the damn food? Lets get some healthy choices in here. If you're going to deep fry everything, make sure it tastes good. 2 hour line up at the Smorgasbord? The best experience in Vegas was at the MGM Signature. We had our own kitchen in there and, after a trip to Walmart, I got some food and was able to cook meals and snacks. No tips. No Bullshit. I'm assured of the quality. No poor food choices slowing me down.
- Either make prostitution legal or clean it the fuck up! Seriously... you can gather enough 'Hooker' cards walking 10 blocks on the strip to make a card deck. Sex should not be an ugly thing. Seriously. Sex is as natural as any other bodily function. But if you shove it into the sewer, it's going to get kind of dirty, contaminated with leeches and lice and other blood sucking pimpsects...and you turn it into an ugly thing. A prostitute is first, and foremost, a human being. They deserve rights and recourse to the law. Business dealings with them should be above board. Hell...if it was Canada, the receipt would include GST (Goods and Services Tax). For some reason that sort of tickles my funny bone. I can just imagine someone getting audited who had to produce those receipts. "Yes, Mr. Jones...now this receipt says 'Half and Half' now I've been a coffee drinker for many years and I've never known cream to costs more than a couple of dollars."
