Coyote Ugly? Maybe Coyote Stupid

I've been in Vegas this last week.  It has been hit or miss on most things but usually a good time.  I went partying around with this self proclaimed 'party animal' and my wife who knew him from work.  The evening was going great.  We stopped in to Twin Peaks for some tasty food.  Originally we were going to go to "Hooters' which was full of beautfiul women in fetching outfits, but the line-up was causing us to lose patience.  Our friend was going to go to "Coyote Ugly" that evening and was attempting to get us to come along.  The drinks were flowing and our host was being quite charming with one of the servers.  Twin Peaks was full of beautiful women in outfits that looked like Lara Croft with Lumber jack red and black half-tops.  We gambled for a bit.  Grabbed a free drink.  We went upstairs in 'New York, New York' got a revitalization treatment by a charming and beautiful lady by the name of Jasmine.  Aromatherapy and massage with some electrodes, oxygen...it felt like getting a tune up to your energy levels.  We mentioned that we may be checking out 'Coyote Ugly'.  Jasmine ran out and got us 3 coupons.  We saw the line-up to Coyote Ugly.  Several bouncers and a line made it look like a major attraction on that Friday night.  We couldn't see what was inside but, with that kind of line and security, it HAD to be good.  Our friend had left early to get his place in line.  He came back and told us to come in right away.  He bulleted on ahead and I had to convince the bouncers that I was with "The big guy who just came in".  I wasn't sure where he was but that we would find him soon.  Shannon was just wrapping up and she would be in shortly. 

Earlier in the day I had gone Casino hopping.  I wanted to see the architecture and the layout...the attractions, and (to be honest) I wanted to see the most fetching server girl outfits.  To that extent, I found that the Paris Casino Server outfirts took the edge over Planet Hollywood.  Maybe it was my preference for curvier women that tipped the scales.  It wasn't the best test.  Despite the time I was there, I hadn't even gotten to half of the Casinos on the strip.  

Anyways, getting back to 'Coyote Ugly'.  My buddy's enthusiasm made me think that this was going to be the most amazing experience.  Walking in, I could see the bar...it was 20 feet away through a wall of people... and mostly male people.  The darkened room looked like it was 25 feet across and about 50 feet long with 5 of the scrawniest women you could imagine (fully clothed) dancing on the bar and telling you how glad you *SHOULD be to be there.  My buddy was somewhere.  My best guess is that he plowed through to the bar.  These weren't my kind of women.  If they had more curves and better outfits...and there were less people there, that would have been better.  But no amount of them telling me how glad I should have been to be there was going to make it so.  It took 5 minutes to make up my mind to leave.  So I intercepted Shannon before she wasted the cover to get in.  We went back to gambling...had a drink and called it a night.  So much hype in Vegas.  You really have to separate the 'Big because it's substantial' versus the 'Big because we have Big media telling you so'.  Coyote Ugly was fucking stupid.  Don't wast your time and money.   You have to sit and wonder how much of Vegas is this kind of fucking bullshit.