Borderlands 2 - A Game Review

I never played the first Borderlands so I am judging #2 based solely on its own merrits.  I've never seen a game so well put together with such a stupid story.  The main antagonist is one "Handsome Jack".  He calls you up to mock you from time to time.  Despite being an amoral jerk to everyone around him in a world filled with guns, no one sees fit to put a bullet to the back of his head. 

Your first encounter is with a robot named "Clap Trap".  This character is about as annoying as an eight year old hyperactive kid with 2 shots of vodka and a pound of chocolate.  The game refers to him as annoying but does nothing about it.  It's part of a joke:  The new humour.  You see back in the old days there was this thing called "funny".  You would actually laugh at something because it was "funny" (not because it's awkward or embarrassing or disgusting or sarcastic while bean-counters like Will Ferrell augment this with bulgy eyes and overreaction).  See the kids now think that instead of telling a joke and ending with a good solid punch line - You say what appears to be a joke but instead of actually saying a punch line, you just look at your audience nervously and let the awkwardness of the moment soak right in.  Well this game is replete with this stupidity.  They are targetting their demographic.  I'm not saying I blame them but I think they kind of sold out.  I find it ironic that a game of superior quailty like this could acquiesce to humour and story of such lazy indifference.

There is one point in the story where you have to cross a bridge to continue.  Well "Brick" who is "King of the Slabs" has an idea.  There is this fortress nearby but the only way you are getting up is to piss off the man in charge so he takes the elevator down.  So you cross the map...blow up his Gyrocopter.  You go back (fighting all the way).  He comes down.  You kill him and take the elevator up.  Now on the platform, you mark a bunch of explosives for pickup by Brick's Slab Gyrocopters who fly the explosives to the bridge...blow up the obstruction and now the bridge can be crossed.

Uh...couldn't the gyrocopters have taken me across the span without any of this other bullshit - especially considering time is of the essence?  Who came up with the idea for this?  A committee from the local kindergarten???  

Your pals (who also happen to be the protagonists from the first Borderlands) nag at you constantly to do stuff...their stuff.  The supersized graphical intro doesn't seem so action packed when all they say is "I need you to do something for me (I'm too busy standing here looking cool to do it myself)".
Somehow when they get really pissy in their nagging, it also happens to be when the action heats up as well...and you are too busy trying to stay alive to listen to what they are saying.

I don't mind doing stuff...but give me a good reason.  I destroyed 50 of Brick's Slabs for his (very poorly thought out -) initiation.  Next thing you are raising his gang's flag in zones controlled by other gangs (!?) Why!?  Gang Pride!?  Our idiots are better than your idiots because I'm doing this for them and not you...wow...maybe the Kindergarten students got off the short bus for this one.  Eventually there just seems to be no reason for anything and you kill with the same indifference as eating peanuts.  This, in itself, is kind of scary.  I'd like to get into the story.  The only person that could get into a story of moral indifference is a psychopath.  It's like trying to take a bath in an inch of water.  Then again the game is really geared for the multiplayer crowd.  I only play multiplayer if I can reach over and smack the other players if they get out of line. 

Everything mechanical in this game is top notch.  There are 4 characters to choose from.  Each character gets skill points when they level to spend on one of 3 areas of speciality and there are sub-classes even beyond that.  You can change how you play each character based on the choices.  Also... there is an easy way to reset your skill points if you want to try out a different configuration.  There are a TON of different weapons to choose from.  Each weapon has aspects that are listed about it as well as there are aspects that are not listed like; Type of sights; bullet travel time; delay; recoil.  Sometimes the best way to see if you like a firearm is to take it out in the field and try it out - be careful though - In this game, things can get real dangerous real quick.  The interface takes a little time getting used to - but it isn't too bad once you do.  Each area is like a sandbox game.  You can go explore places and get stuff; it doesn't really matter if you have a quest there or not. 

That said; don't use the Assault Rifle class.  What should be a decent class of firearm is relegated to the worst of all things; crappy magazine size, terrible recoil, shitty damage, slow reload times, and inaccurate.  Actual assault rifles are a valuable asset on the battlefield.  They often use Sniper (7.62mm Nato) ammunition...and are sure as fuck more accurate than ANY SmG and over a greater distance.  There is another problem right there.  The guys you are fighting look like they are playing paintball.  They could probably fire a howitzer one handed while jumping off a balcony and doing a barrel roll.  It's fucking ridiculous.  Some of the guns don't make sense.  One of the design is for a minigun with a breach that is 4x45 degree angles from the rotating barrels. 

Eventually everything just seems to get redundant.  The enemies get predictable.  They manage to ambush you every single time to compensate.  You keep chasing numbers with numbers like a child looking for the base of a rainbow that keeps moving away from him.  Eventually you just say "okay well I guess that's it for me".

Nevermind.  This game is a cartoon.  It doesn't make sense...but so what?  Play it for a while but make sure to stop and give your head a shake.  The logic holes in every aspect of this, even Mathew Costello could fly a hot air (appropriately) balloon through.

The magic time - Between Christmas and New Year.

There is an intangible feeling for this time of year...as I suppose all feelings are but I use the word in more of a metaphorical sense.  We are at peace and also amused (and perhaps bemused) like a harlequinn dancing whimsically between two sides of the same fence.  Our intangible thoughts on a gentle yet consistent simmer.

 

I'm reminded of 'Fomalhaut' by Montxo Algora in Heavy Metal.  December 1979.  I remember the 'Tears in the Rain' speech by Rutger Hauer in Bladerunner.  I remember having hope with Rocket packs, Martians; a brave new world.  Toward the end of a year where we realize on a deeper level that time is just a number.  The only real time is change.  We catch a glimpse of chaos...and it is grinning from ear to ear.  Taking another sip of our mulled wine - the scent of cinnamon in the air.  We are all in this together.  As long as we have life and choice we have a chance.