Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (post Episode 15)

Hell's Kitchen Season 8 has come to a close.  Like all Hell's Kitchen episodes, I was highly entertained.

It comes down to the usual format for the final show which is;  a cooking challenge with the winner being able to pick first the members of their upcoming teams.  The members consist of people who were previously eliminated from Hell's Kitchen.  The final chefs run each of their respective teams in a cook off against the other.  The footage of the competition and many other factors are reviewed by Ramsay for the final decision as to who wins Hell's Kitchen.

I have to say Gordon...I had my doubts.  For a second I thought you were going to give it to Russ.  I'm sure the people in LA Market are relieved as well.  I was criticizing Nona for her early shortcomings but wasn't seeing that she was developing with each passing service.  You saw the potential in her. 

Where to start?  Two words:  Anger Management.  You are a good chef and a good leader.  The problem is much more integral than that.  Russ lost.  Of course he blamed his team and said he would 'Whack the bitches'. 
That last sentence is, in a nutshell, everything wrong with Russ.  Growth cannot happen unless you process the feedback in a positive manner.  Deflecting all comments except those that say 'you are the best' will get you nowhere.   2nd place?  I think I could hear the sigh of relief from the employees of LA Market from here.  You've got the skills, Russ...just lose the dog collar.

 How long do you think you can be anger's bitch?

Someone is going to use that to control you...and your arrogance is going to make you blind to it. 

Nona.  Respect is where respect is due.  I had my doubts.  I saw good leadership and commitment today when you were taking charge of the menu and the kitchen.  I could tell that Trev really wanted to help you win.  When Boris was messing up on fish, Trev stepped in and tried to take over.  His motivation was that he really wanted you to win...or more accurately...make sure Russell lost.   You turned around to stop them from squabbling but you didn't previously take charge of either Trev or Boris directly.  To be honest, if Russell hadn't shown his true colors today...everything else he was doing slightly better than you.  So you get a quarter million dollars a year not because you were marginally more effective in the kitchen...but because you weren't a psycho.  So Congrats.

All in all the most unbelievable season of Hell's Kitchen ever. 

Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (Episode 14)

Well proof positive after this episode.  Ramsay has no integral control of the course of the show.  If he did, I dare say, he would probably have sent them all packing.  So it comes down to a 29 year old arrogant psychopath who CAN cook (at least) Versus a fat drama queen with the Palate of a Boa constrictor.

It's really funny because in the challenge she couldn't taste the difference between Mashed Potatoes, which was supposed to be up, and mashed celery.  At the very end she was described as having 'an exceptional palate' and they even had a scene showing her tasting the mashed celery.  Someone must have slipped in some sarcasm past the crack production staff.   I'm looking at you, Flash.

They say that losers never win and winners never lose.  What about a rat race?  Russ has proven himself to be a capable cook with an unshakeable confidence.  Sure he doesn't win all the time or even most of the time... but those are instances where 'the judges are dummies with unrefined palates'.  This guy scares me.  Not because he is big or has no soul...though those are good points.  He is the face of a brand new and completely selfish generation of 20 somethings.  For this guy to succeed means that his precision bullying and thuggery is an accepted means of getting what you want.  Something no one ever gets is the fact that media carves out its own templates for behavior among the developing new generation.  Social responsibility?  Somehow I don't think that goes with 'FOX'...and I'm sleeping with the lights on tonight.

He's in the last 2.  His opponent cannot win on her cooking or leadership skill against this guy.   I know they are standing at the reward ceremony doors with their family on the other side.  There will be a winner.  Among the casualities will be Gordon Ramsay's integrity.  The best that I can hope for is a followup screen saying "Russ was fired 3 days later for yelling at customers in LA Market"...somehow I think they will omitt that part.

Trev.  Well you weren't the greatest cook and your enemies were persistently forcing you between a wall and a hard place.   I liked how Jillian was yelling at you about the difference in size of the fish portions when they were precut.  Like how you cooked them could have magically changed that fact.  I feel for you mate.  You were the first of the last 4 to go and they were all trying to knock you down from the start.  You stood against the group and you gave it your all.  I respect you for it.

Speeking of....   Jillian.  Wow.  You served mayonnaise to Michelin Star chefs as part of your fusion blunder and got away with it...and won?  Seriously...where the fuck are you hiding those horseshoes?   You finally sunk Trev's boat but one of those torpedoes blew up in it's hatch and you started to sound like a whiny little bitch right in front of Ramsay.  Way to play into Russell's hand.   There were much more deserving people who should have been a contender at the end that weren't you.  It's only because you were more able to stay under the radar that they went home and you didn't.  If you have 5 years of solid growing up and improving your skill, I can see you being a contender.  Best of luck (but you have plenty of that) and all the best to you and your family in the future.

Well Nona, I'm now officially rooting for you.  You're a weak cook.  You break up easily under even the slightest amount of preasure.  You have the palate of a smoking snake.   Why am I rooting for you?  You're not Russ.  

If you hate reality shows, you will really hate...

Scripted 'Reality' shows!  

TV production is suffering from an imagination drought.  Reality TV accells because the regular scripted characters aren't believable enough to actually pay much attention to.  These Hollywood hacks are regurgitating classics because they can't even come up with a new idea.  Dukes of Hazzard?   Hawaii 5-0?  The A-Team?   GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!   I don't mind if you take an old idea and give it a massive kick in the ass edge like they did with Battlestar Galactica.  But these hacks are bringing it back just to make it Vanilla Shitty.

Anyways...not getting mired in this topic.  Moving forward....

So there is this excellent reality show on History channel called 'Pawn Stars'.  The guys aren't too pretty but they are all real characters.   A lot of it is scripted to some extent but enough of who they are shines through and makes for entertaining watching.  

Moving on....

Enter 'Hacks' from TLC.  They have come up with their own 'reality tv show' called 'Pawn Queens'.  It's apparently about a pawn shop that serves only women....because when you are struggling in business you can afford to turn half of your potential customers away at the door based on sex.   As unbelievable as this premise is, it's actually believable compared to the characters.

One thing I can say about the women in this show is that they are pretty.  They either have personalities of a damp sponge in a paper bag or the acting skill that would give most porn stars an oscar by comparisson.  The owner of the pawn shop is a guy.   In the episode I saw, he 'forgot' that he had sent a $5000 ring to a jeweller for cleaning.  Yeah that happens to me all the time.  To be clear, this isn't a franchise...this is one struggling shop where they said paying out the 5 grand would 'ruin' them.   Oh...except in the next scene where they paid 23k for a classic car.  Hmmm.  

So the retarded gnome who made this show has both no imagination or recourse to logic.  Nice!  Seriously I want to meet you so that I can mock you in person and under your radar.

Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (Episode 13)

Well Episode 13 is over and there were a few surprises.

We are seeing a kinder, gentler Chef Ramsay.  He took Jillian asside and gave her a straight up talk from the humanitarian side of Ramsay.  Also Trevor got treated to generous amounts of compassion when he panicked. 

Nona won the challenge and selected Russ to accompany her on her day to the spa.  This was a political move since Nona would rather feed the bears than have it rip out her throat.  Jillian got a little chilly about this and made a 'pact' with Trev to vote for Russ and Nona.  Unfortunately, by Jillian's maturity level 'pact' just means 'if I feel like it I will'.  Nona had a terrible service.  Russell had a not-too-great service.  Trev...well...I think I'm just going to nick name that poor bastard 'Bullseye'.  

Nona...if you want to be a good chef, you have to be able to cook Risotto.  I don't really have a whole lot against you.  You screwed up a few times but who hasn't in this batch of cooks.  You gave Russ a bone to keep him from biting off your hand.  Jillian got a little frosty for it but at least you still have your hand.  Ofcourse risking your alliance with Jillian by taking Russ along to the spa was a risky move.  Your luck is not insubstantial.

Jillian.  You would be #1 in 5 years of growing up time under your belt.  Ramsay had a heart to heart with you this episode and got a fire lit under your inspiration.  Looks like it did some good.  I'm slightly miffed about the choice to throw Trev under the bus after your 'agreement' with him.  I would have too if he had a bad performance that stood out obviously from the other two.   The point is; he didn't and your word was not even a speed bump in your decision making process. 

Trev.  Nothing is easy here for you, my friend.  Chef has shown compassion and has taken the time to help you out.  Russell went out and threatened you directly.  You kept your cool.  Jillian blind sided you.  Not surprising.  She has about as much maturity as she does eyebrow hairs.  I'm rooting for you for the simple fact: the rest of these guys aren't people that I respect.

Saving the best for last.  Russ.  I appreciate that it is people like you who make reality TV so addictive.  You are the kind of person that people either love or hate...mostly the latter.  You are a great cook, a decent leader and an incredible thug.  You are the product of an environment of pure self-interest.  There is no way in Hell you are winning because there is no way in Hell anyone is going to want to work with you.   Threatening Trev?  Well that's just the cherry on the tombstone.

Ramsay did a family ambush on you this episode.  Later, when you and your girlfriend are watching this episode, she can see you hitting on the spa lady during reward earlier.   Real classy.

This is why Reality TV is great.  Hollywood simply cannot create characters like you.