Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (post Episode 15)

Hell's Kitchen Season 8 has come to a close.  Like all Hell's Kitchen episodes, I was highly entertained.

It comes down to the usual format for the final show which is;  a cooking challenge with the winner being able to pick first the members of their upcoming teams.  The members consist of people who were previously eliminated from Hell's Kitchen.  The final chefs run each of their respective teams in a cook off against the other.  The footage of the competition and many other factors are reviewed by Ramsay for the final decision as to who wins Hell's Kitchen.

I have to say Gordon...I had my doubts.  For a second I thought you were going to give it to Russ.  I'm sure the people in LA Market are relieved as well.  I was criticizing Nona for her early shortcomings but wasn't seeing that she was developing with each passing service.  You saw the potential in her. 

Where to start?  Two words:  Anger Management.  You are a good chef and a good leader.  The problem is much more integral than that.  Russ lost.  Of course he blamed his team and said he would 'Whack the bitches'. 
That last sentence is, in a nutshell, everything wrong with Russ.  Growth cannot happen unless you process the feedback in a positive manner.  Deflecting all comments except those that say 'you are the best' will get you nowhere.   2nd place?  I think I could hear the sigh of relief from the employees of LA Market from here.  You've got the skills, Russ...just lose the dog collar.

 How long do you think you can be anger's bitch?

Someone is going to use that to control you...and your arrogance is going to make you blind to it. 

Nona.  Respect is where respect is due.  I had my doubts.  I saw good leadership and commitment today when you were taking charge of the menu and the kitchen.  I could tell that Trev really wanted to help you win.  When Boris was messing up on fish, Trev stepped in and tried to take over.  His motivation was that he really wanted you to win...or more accurately...make sure Russell lost.   You turned around to stop them from squabbling but you didn't previously take charge of either Trev or Boris directly.  To be honest, if Russell hadn't shown his true colors today...everything else he was doing slightly better than you.  So you get a quarter million dollars a year not because you were marginally more effective in the kitchen...but because you weren't a psycho.  So Congrats.

All in all the most unbelievable season of Hell's Kitchen ever. 

Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (Episode 14)

Well proof positive after this episode.  Ramsay has no integral control of the course of the show.  If he did, I dare say, he would probably have sent them all packing.  So it comes down to a 29 year old arrogant psychopath who CAN cook (at least) Versus a fat drama queen with the Palate of a Boa constrictor.

It's really funny because in the challenge she couldn't taste the difference between Mashed Potatoes, which was supposed to be up, and mashed celery.  At the very end she was described as having 'an exceptional palate' and they even had a scene showing her tasting the mashed celery.  Someone must have slipped in some sarcasm past the crack production staff.   I'm looking at you, Flash.

They say that losers never win and winners never lose.  What about a rat race?  Russ has proven himself to be a capable cook with an unshakeable confidence.  Sure he doesn't win all the time or even most of the time... but those are instances where 'the judges are dummies with unrefined palates'.  This guy scares me.  Not because he is big or has no soul...though those are good points.  He is the face of a brand new and completely selfish generation of 20 somethings.  For this guy to succeed means that his precision bullying and thuggery is an accepted means of getting what you want.  Something no one ever gets is the fact that media carves out its own templates for behavior among the developing new generation.  Social responsibility?  Somehow I don't think that goes with 'FOX'...and I'm sleeping with the lights on tonight.

He's in the last 2.  His opponent cannot win on her cooking or leadership skill against this guy.   I know they are standing at the reward ceremony doors with their family on the other side.  There will be a winner.  Among the casualities will be Gordon Ramsay's integrity.  The best that I can hope for is a followup screen saying "Russ was fired 3 days later for yelling at customers in LA Market"...somehow I think they will omitt that part.

Trev.  Well you weren't the greatest cook and your enemies were persistently forcing you between a wall and a hard place.   I liked how Jillian was yelling at you about the difference in size of the fish portions when they were precut.  Like how you cooked them could have magically changed that fact.  I feel for you mate.  You were the first of the last 4 to go and they were all trying to knock you down from the start.  You stood against the group and you gave it your all.  I respect you for it.

Speeking of....   Jillian.  Wow.  You served mayonnaise to Michelin Star chefs as part of your fusion blunder and got away with it...and won?  Seriously...where the fuck are you hiding those horseshoes?   You finally sunk Trev's boat but one of those torpedoes blew up in it's hatch and you started to sound like a whiny little bitch right in front of Ramsay.  Way to play into Russell's hand.   There were much more deserving people who should have been a contender at the end that weren't you.  It's only because you were more able to stay under the radar that they went home and you didn't.  If you have 5 years of solid growing up and improving your skill, I can see you being a contender.  Best of luck (but you have plenty of that) and all the best to you and your family in the future.

Well Nona, I'm now officially rooting for you.  You're a weak cook.  You break up easily under even the slightest amount of preasure.  You have the palate of a smoking snake.   Why am I rooting for you?  You're not Russ.  

If you hate reality shows, you will really hate...

Scripted 'Reality' shows!  

TV production is suffering from an imagination drought.  Reality TV accells because the regular scripted characters aren't believable enough to actually pay much attention to.  These Hollywood hacks are regurgitating classics because they can't even come up with a new idea.  Dukes of Hazzard?   Hawaii 5-0?  The A-Team?   GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!   I don't mind if you take an old idea and give it a massive kick in the ass edge like they did with Battlestar Galactica.  But these hacks are bringing it back just to make it Vanilla Shitty.

Anyways...not getting mired in this topic.  Moving forward....

So there is this excellent reality show on History channel called 'Pawn Stars'.  The guys aren't too pretty but they are all real characters.   A lot of it is scripted to some extent but enough of who they are shines through and makes for entertaining watching.  

Moving on....

Enter 'Hacks' from TLC.  They have come up with their own 'reality tv show' called 'Pawn Queens'.  It's apparently about a pawn shop that serves only women....because when you are struggling in business you can afford to turn half of your potential customers away at the door based on sex.   As unbelievable as this premise is, it's actually believable compared to the characters.

One thing I can say about the women in this show is that they are pretty.  They either have personalities of a damp sponge in a paper bag or the acting skill that would give most porn stars an oscar by comparisson.  The owner of the pawn shop is a guy.   In the episode I saw, he 'forgot' that he had sent a $5000 ring to a jeweller for cleaning.  Yeah that happens to me all the time.  To be clear, this isn't a franchise...this is one struggling shop where they said paying out the 5 grand would 'ruin' them.   Oh...except in the next scene where they paid 23k for a classic car.  Hmmm.  

So the retarded gnome who made this show has both no imagination or recourse to logic.  Nice!  Seriously I want to meet you so that I can mock you in person and under your radar.

Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (Episode 13)

Well Episode 13 is over and there were a few surprises.

We are seeing a kinder, gentler Chef Ramsay.  He took Jillian asside and gave her a straight up talk from the humanitarian side of Ramsay.  Also Trevor got treated to generous amounts of compassion when he panicked. 

Nona won the challenge and selected Russ to accompany her on her day to the spa.  This was a political move since Nona would rather feed the bears than have it rip out her throat.  Jillian got a little chilly about this and made a 'pact' with Trev to vote for Russ and Nona.  Unfortunately, by Jillian's maturity level 'pact' just means 'if I feel like it I will'.  Nona had a terrible service.  Russell had a not-too-great service.  Trev...well...I think I'm just going to nick name that poor bastard 'Bullseye'.  

Nona...if you want to be a good chef, you have to be able to cook Risotto.  I don't really have a whole lot against you.  You screwed up a few times but who hasn't in this batch of cooks.  You gave Russ a bone to keep him from biting off your hand.  Jillian got a little frosty for it but at least you still have your hand.  Ofcourse risking your alliance with Jillian by taking Russ along to the spa was a risky move.  Your luck is not insubstantial.

Jillian.  You would be #1 in 5 years of growing up time under your belt.  Ramsay had a heart to heart with you this episode and got a fire lit under your inspiration.  Looks like it did some good.  I'm slightly miffed about the choice to throw Trev under the bus after your 'agreement' with him.  I would have too if he had a bad performance that stood out obviously from the other two.   The point is; he didn't and your word was not even a speed bump in your decision making process. 

Trev.  Nothing is easy here for you, my friend.  Chef has shown compassion and has taken the time to help you out.  Russell went out and threatened you directly.  You kept your cool.  Jillian blind sided you.  Not surprising.  She has about as much maturity as she does eyebrow hairs.  I'm rooting for you for the simple fact: the rest of these guys aren't people that I respect.

Saving the best for last.  Russ.  I appreciate that it is people like you who make reality TV so addictive.  You are the kind of person that people either love or hate...mostly the latter.  You are a great cook, a decent leader and an incredible thug.  You are the product of an environment of pure self-interest.  There is no way in Hell you are winning because there is no way in Hell anyone is going to want to work with you.   Threatening Trev?  Well that's just the cherry on the tombstone.

Ramsay did a family ambush on you this episode.  Later, when you and your girlfriend are watching this episode, she can see you hitting on the spa lady during reward earlier.   Real classy.

This is why Reality TV is great.  Hollywood simply cannot create characters like you.

Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (post Episode 12)

Ramsay?  What is going to happen?

Gail killed the competition on the challenge...got an amazing make-over and then got booted after service for a poor performance.  Chef said she would do well to serve fast food out of her own kitchen but would be a poor fit for LA Market.  We'll miss you Gail.

Finishing dead last in the competition.  Citing his loss to serving those of unrefined pallets.  Russ took Charge during service when Ramsay went out to get a breath of fresh air (out of frustration).  Under his leadership, he fingered Trev for being the weakest link in that short time.  This hasn't got anything to do with the long standing feud you have had with Trev, has it?

Once again we see Russ bullying, abusing and coercing all those around him for his own gain.  Russ is the 'Nilka' of negative energy bubbles.  This guy should have been surgically removed from the group like a cancer since way earlier when he raved at Ramsay's guests.

...and by the way Russ, look in the mirror.  Why does every 20 something thug want to pretend like they are black rappers?  Actually...don't stop...I enjoy laughing at you for it.

Trev...all guns are pointed toward this guy and he still presses on.  He might not be as good a cook as Russell, but I can't see him chasing me out of his restaurant with a butcher knife, either.

Everyone had a bad service this time.  Jillian has been riding the 'hate trevor' wave successfully taking attention off of her massive immaturity and ineptitude.  Are those eyebrows shaped like horseshoes?  That would explain a bit.  Do you think Russ is gunning for Trev because he's just that much worse than you are?  Like everything Russ does, it's a strategic move.  Russ came to your aid to help you because he knows you to be one of the weak links he wants to compete against. 

Nona...I know you have fought for this.  Everyone is coming up short...including you.  The only person who is qualified to win this game is a total asshole...and that is not you.  You and Jillian are marking time behind Trev.  None of you can stand against Russ in a straight up cooking and leadership contest.  The only reasonable way anyone can win this is with the Americanized ending.

===========
Americanized ending:  The obviously manufactured unlikely circumstances in fiction that cause a miraculous and well timed ascendancy in abilities, beliefs or both. 

IE.
Russ Winning:  "Oh look...I've found the error of my ways and am going to channel my anger for good.  This experience has been a real wake up call...and even though I've lived 29 years having perfected my abilities as a sociopathic political thug, I'm changing that right here and right now"

"Oh...and I'm not going to pretend I'm black anymore"
==========

Just in time for Christmas when we get force fed all the other sacrine bullshit.   Personally I don't think any of them is head chef material.  Russ has anger and intolerance issues.   Trev is stand up...a great guy in a bad place... but his cooking isn't head-chef quality.  Jillian and Nona?  Give me a break.  The drama content contestants should have cleared the stage 3 episodes ago.  I say give Trev the wine spokesperson job and send everyone else home.

New Word

The new word of the day is Misandry (Miss - ann - dree).  It comes from the greek MIS meaning hate and ANDRY meaning male. 

The noun is Misandrist.  Used in a sentence;  The women in my family are a bunch of  misandrists.

 The Adjective Misandristic.  Used in a sentence; The women in my family are a bunch of cruel, misandristic bitches from the blackest part of hell.

I love finding new words XD

Hell's Kitchen Season 8 (post Episode 11)

The Season finale is starting to close in.   Here is a quick recap...according to James

Gordon Ramsey.  You either love or hate this guy.  One thing I can say for sure is that there is no pulling the wool over his eyes.  Every season someone thinks they can sabotage other people under his radar and get away with it.  Well guess what?  This guy has radar...he's got sonar...he's got satellite imaging with infrared and a laser detection system.   So getting away with it? Bro you're the drama cow, homes.   Peace Out.  xD

   

Well the final 5 are in.  This looks to be the worst 5 of any of the seasons.

But at least...

She's gone!

Sorry Sabrina.  You were the dramatic content that the show needed and a good way to rattle poor Trev's cage.  Go back to the job you so rightly deserve and YES I WILL have fries with that.

Ok Trev...the drama queen has left the building.  That big black cloud of sorry circumstance is gone for hopefully enough time to let you shine.  Don't let any storm clouds piss on you...uh oh...here comes one....

Hey bro!  Sup Russell?  You know I've met people like you and, to be clear, I wish I hadn't.  A leader will take responsibility for what he tells everyone else to do... and you don't.  You have anger management and maturity issues.  You've taken a leadership role and all you are doing is directing car crashes...but you are doing it well.  Advice:  Grow a patch of empathy and...you don't have to bring your team down to bring yourself up.  Try not to bully any more of Ramsey's guests.  You are going to be free to bully the staff of LA Market.  Stranger things have happened.  I'm sure they would love to have you.

Gail.  I actually though you were the ringer at one time.  Recently you seem to have self destructed.  I'm still hoping that you shine in the end. 

Jillian.  As far as I'm concerned, you are a slightly more capable version of Sabrina.  The pair of you with the Emo-Tat Nona and the Gail (no force) created a feeding frenzy of immaturity that succesfully annoyed the hell out of me.  I really empathize for Trev to have been thrown in with all you idiots.  You're next...and grow some fucking eyebrows will ya?  You look like a fucking freak.

Nona.  You've got heart but you are really emotional.  You have luck.  The times I saw you do very badly, it was just someone else's time to go first.  If you really shine during these last few shows...maybe you could pull it off.  Good thing for you American audiences have such a short memory.

None of these people are worth a quarter of a million dollars a year.  It's rediculous.  IMHO I think Chef Ramsey should just send them all home and start fresh.

Blues and School

I was wandering around today thinking like it was my last day on Earth.  The way you feel when you get really stressed out about something that is happening or going to happen.  Like interviews or getting into a tough class surrounded by people who could actually be teaching it.  Anyways you grab hold of your time and say to yourself: "What have I not asked the universe (or Web) yet?".

I remembered listening to a song by a group called 10cc back in my childhood.  I had this record called "Deceptive Bends" on which resided a 3 part song called "Won't Feel the Benefits".  The song is magnificent.  It starts off slow and mellow and at the end it has picked up and there is an amazing guitar Solo to the finish of the song (3rd part)  nearly 12 minutes later.   What is cool about this song?  What is so unique about it?  The ending.
The riff from this song has spent the last 12 minutes getting into the very meat of your mind and massaging it in with a sweet guitar solo.

So what happens at the end of this amazingly unique song?

Does it fade out like someone is turning down the volume?  no

Does it end with a universally played power chord over many different instruments?  no

Does it end with a Descendo to a monologue or soft song sung accapella?   Nice try ... but no

IT JUST .....................................stops

So you are probably sitting there thinking well WTF James???   How could that possibly be exciting?
Well...a 12 minute song doesn't just stop.  The musicians and singers can stop but the actual music will continue on in your head well afterwards....and that is a really cool effect.   Ofcourse if you hate the song, this might not be a very desirable effect.

Sadly...10cc changed the ending in later performances.  The ending now sounds like a pole vaulting albatross complete with sprint and landing.

Labor day blues

Well it's been a Summer.  Now the kids go back to School and life starts to get back to normal.  Christmas is 3 and a half months away.  About that time we will all be remembering Summer fondly.  It's funny and it's sort of how it is for life.  You sit back when you are older and start to realize how wonderful life used to be without you actually ever having realizing it at the time.  I'm 48 years old and am quite literally in the September 6th of my life.  The air is fresh - like the coming Winter and you still have plenty of warmth from the Summer.  Then you think how fast time has gone and that you still feel inside that you are 25 in a lot of ways....but the distance between 25 and 48 is the same distance that is between 48 and 71 which stops you in your tracks. 

The lesson?  Whatever you are going to do...do it now.  Don't let 25 years pass you by.  Grab onto life and passionately strive towards something.  No one is going to do it for you.  The boss isn't going to give you an 'everything you ever wanted in life' bonus from your day to day meanderings. 

If you think you have all the time in the world;  welcome to my world 25 years later thinking 'wow...was that 25 years?  It didn't seem like that long.'   ...and yeah people told me to pick it up...and yeah I didn't realize how right they were.  

Love passionately, Live well and strive to raise the spirits of the people you meet. 

...and I'm wondering where the lions are

Here is a question.  Why don't people put gargoyles and lions on archatecture anymore?   Seriously.  Is our lionless culture so superior?  I just happened to see an apartment building in Burnaby with gold colored lions poised on either side of its walkway.  I was tickled pink.  The apartment wasn't too old either.  Tell me if the simple cost of a couple of gold colored lion statues was worth it.  If you don't know or if you don't have a soul, let me spell it out...HELL YEAH!!!

Welcome!

This is my place to share my opinion with you. 

This time around I was thinking about Ben Affleck's acting and how it is so much similar to the collection of Pac Man games he has in his house (something about chewing the background).  Not to say that he isn't a great actor...when he is acting with his friends.  Put him with anyone who he doesn't have a real life rapport with, however, and he is completely out of tempo with them. 

I met Ben a few years back on the set of Paycheck in Vancouver.  Details?  Maybe later...I've got to make dinner.